A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a relationship for the past 8 years and the last time we made love was 1 year ago while on holidays in Spain!Now I must agree that sex is not my favourite thing I do enjoy it now and again.I am in counselling for work related stress and now feel more ready for sex.I might add that in our barren period of no affection and I mean no kissing, cuddling nothing, I found out my partner was online looking for no strings attatched fun.We talked this over and he swears he never met anyone..Now for the past week i have brought some sexy nightwear and to be honest I might as well have been wearing a paper bag in bed.Can anyone tell me is he just not interested in me anymore after a year of nothing and is looking for someone new online?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo Male reader(Anon)
No I wasnt thinking you blaming me but advances such as kisses dont get past a kiss and then its oh do you want a cuppa or hold on be back in a minute, I must call someone..Grr!!
My confidence is waning everyday.. Even going out now I dressing down as I think I dont look good..
Tahnks again for your perpective on things much appreciated
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2009): You're very welcome. Perhaps he doesn't quite trust your hints. Have you tried being physical with him? Passionately kissing him, touching him, placing his hands on your...features? While I personally would be absolutely thrilled to receive those types of advances from my girlfriend I have ignored some of her less suggestive hints in the past because I didn't want to be turned down. It is incredibly sexually frustrating to follow what you think is a hint only to be turned down time and time again.
If you still can't seduce him you should sit him down and talk to him about this.
I hope you don't think I'm placing blame on you. In fact I think I can relate to your current situation. It is nobody's fault and I hope you get things straightened out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Male reader,
Thank you for your very open and honest reply and I appreciate it as a male you porobaly know where my partner is at at the moment.
Now when you say, come to him, sending him pictures to his phone, dressed to thrill, saying this is for you when you get home, being in the bath accidently on purpose when he gets in, in truth I am trying but to no effect.
To Sarcy24.
Thanks for your reply and from what you are saying, I know that you know where exactly I am at with the stress and how our relationship has suffered a great deal because of it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2009): If your sex life has been lagging due to your lack of desire then your partner likely has given up trying and doesn't want to be let down if he does try. That's how I feel with my girlfriend at the moment. We usually go over a month between having sex. In the last few years I would try everything I could think of to get her in the mood and, when nothing worked, I gave up. I don't look at her as sexually as I used to and the only way we have sex is if she puts forth the effort. That isn't as easy as putting on a new teddy, though it probably helps. You have to get him in the mood by showing him that you're in the mood and you want him. Try kissing him passionately, use your tongue a little, kiss his neck, lead his hands over your body - be forward. Seeing as how merely describing this is turning me on, if he is anything like me it'll do the trick.
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A
female
reader, sarcy24  +, writes (3 August 2009):
 I didn't have sex with my husband for 5 years due to work related stress. 5 years is too long for anyone to go without sex and so he looked elsewhere. I think a year with no affection is quite a long time and you are going to have to work hard at getting his feelings back. During this time he may have felt rejected, shunned and ignored and unloved as apparently my husband did. I know what you went through and what you are going through most certainly does put you off sex totally but I have found not many men are that sympathetic in that area. You are going to have to make the first moves here by wearing sexy underwear, telling him how wonderful he is and generally coming on to him. It is hard after a long time and it feels strange but you need to perservere or you may find you will lose him.
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