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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I joined plenty of fish in August last year, and swapped numbers with a guy, he lived in a differnt town then me , but had family members in my home town, Anyway new years eve he was down and we finally got to meet, i knew from day one that when we met it was going to be a one night stand, We actually got on very well, and after we did have sex he ended up staying for the rest of the night, Next day he went home, but the weird thing is we talk a hell off a lot via text, Amd when he comes back down we are going to meet again, Does anyone think he could actually like me ?? Im starting to like him a lot more then i thought i would seeing we talk a lot, Altho i did ask him about meeting when i visited his area for a shoppung trip with a friend as now hes talking about having a 3some which i would never do especially with it being my friend aswell.I said go ahead and have a 3some if u really wanted to have one with someone just wont be me.His reply was its with u or not atallIs this normal behaviour for a one night stand ive never really been in a one night stand before, Talk a lot via textWill meet againIs there a actual chance he likes me but i just cant read the signsOr am i wasting my time talking to him ???
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one night stand, text, threesome Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2020): You are so lucky to even be alive.You went and had sex with a total stranger.Learn from this.He expected you would be open to a three some because you are easy.No man ever takes a serious relationship with someone like that.If you want a real relationship stop being easy.Take it slow get to really know the person first.What if this man was a serial killer?Do not take risks with your life like that as it is not smart.Next time you do this you may be six feet under.Be smarter than this.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2020): Yes acting perfectly normal in the sense that he is getting what he wants from you, mutual sex and thought you might be up for a bit more than just that. You stroke his ego by staying in contact and he can dip in and out by staying in touch.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2020): You're his fuck buddy to weird stuff with.
The 3 some "its with u or not at all" you seem to think that's sweet. It's not. it's pretty weird.
It's not unusual to get along with someone you had sex with -- even if it's a one night stand. There be a few that start out this way and they live happily ever after -- but it's a real long shot.
Been there with mostly fond 'wonder what she's doing' memories.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2020): Comes back to the generalized but common-notion that women attach emotion and meaning to sex. Men think objectively, and can do the deed and feel nothing but release. Some ladies can, or think they can. Men and women do not think entirely alike, as humans we have the same feelings and emotions.
I'd take you by the shoulders and shake you a little to bring you to your senses, but I can't; so I'll use my words instead.
Males and females don't interpret feelings or express our human-emotions exactly the same; because nature didn't wire us that way. Some things are learned, some are instinctive, and some are developed by conditioning through experience. Our behavior is gender-specific in how we process what we learn. Not only are our bodies different, but so are our minds.
One-night stands are usually a prelude or an interview for becoming friends with benefits. Often, one-side becomes enamored and infatuated; while the other sees a golden-opportunity for booty-calls and sex on-demand. In most instances they are intended to be a hit-and-run encounter. Players are predators on the prowl, looking for sappy gullible-women they can use. There are also clever females who are seductive and cunning; looking for a simpleton they can manipulate.
One-night-standing is not a game for amateurs!
Just because somebody boinks you and treats you like a human being the next day, doesn't mean they give a flying rat's patootie about you.
DO NOT ATTACH YOUR FEELINGS TO THIS GUY!!!
You are a lonely single-female who is allowing fantasy and poor-judgement to create delusions that are going to lead you down the wrong path. He will butter you up, feed you a generous supply of text messages (many females seem to feast on them); and tell you what you want to hear. Like one of those door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesmen back in the olden-days; getting a foot in the door and taking-hold of your attention, before you can shoo him away.
Snap out of it! Get a grip, girlfriend!!!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (22 January 2020):
 I can't tell if he likes you or just hope that YOU are up for anything and then maybe also a 3-some which is why he brought it up.
ANY guy who bring up ADDING another person to the "bedroom fun" after ONE night/day together is NOT looking to have a long and strong relationship. He is testing your boundaries for sexual adventures HE would like to do with someone. You fit the bill because you were willing to hook up so fast and then also talk afterwards.
The whole "TALKING" (or rather texting after having had sex) doesn't MEAN anything deep. It just means he wants you to be available for more sex. More like a "fwb" (even if you aren't really friend) but someone to have NSA (no strings attached sex whenever the mood strikes or there is a dry-spell in getting someone else to bed.
IF YOU are hoping for or looking FOR a REAL relationship, this guy isn't it. Asking you to do a 3-some is NOT a declaration of "feelings" or that he CARES about you.
You KNEW going in (so you said) that it was going to be a ONE NIGHT STAND do why do you treat it like it's more? Because he TEXTS you? Because he wants to try a 3-some with you?
YOU ARE wasting your time on this one, if you want a long-term BF/partner. He wants someone to boink that is also someone who can entertain his fantasies and when he is bored and wants to "talk".
I'd suggest you wish him well and block and move on.
And maybe consider that POF is probably not where you will find a serious partner.
I would also suggest you don't jump into bed with people you don't see as more than a ONS or who doesn't see YOU as more than a ONS. Why waste time on ONS?
It is NOT a compliment that someone you BARELY know wants a 3-some with you and your friend. Just saying.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2020): What you have done is not a ONS. A ONS is when you meet a total stranger in a party or a bar and you end up sleeping with him or you go on a first date with someone new and you end up in bed with them. At least that is how I define a ONS. You have already known this guy via the internet extensively before you slept with him. As for having a meaningful relationship with him I dont think he wants that. He just wants to meet women for sex and he is bold enough to use you to get to your friend too.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (22 January 2020):
 You seem kind of obsessed with labels. He told you the truth in his own awkward stupid way. He wants you or no one at all. Preferably without your friend along. So don't try to set up a date with him on a day you are shopping with your friend.
The only place this was ever a one night stand was in your mind.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (22 January 2020):
 What are you wanting from life, sex when you or he feels like it or a loving, committed respectful relationship?
The fact he suggested a threesome when he heard you and a friend would be in the same town suggests to me that he isn't interested in a respectful relationship. So if that is not what you want either then continue as you started.
If, however, you DO want a committed, loving relationship I don't think this is the guy you will have that with.
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