A
female
age
36-40,
*eachblossom
writes:So I started talking to a new guy a little over two months ago. In the beginning, he pursued me, called often and we had great communication. However, during this time we've known each other, we've only been on four dates. It's been a while since I've played the dating game, so I don't know if this is normal or not. Our schedules are pretty opposite and we are both hard workers, but we both have 2-3 of the same evenings off a week. He knows this, and we talk on the phone often, almost every day...but he doesn't make plans to see me. He'll ask what I'm doing the following weekend, but won't follow through with asking me out. I've concluded that either he doesn't want to change his social life to make room for me in it, he's afraid I'll turn him down if he asks me, or he's taking his time and keeping his options open. He is a great guy, and when we are together, he's attentive, sweet and affectionate. I'm getting frustrated because I want to spend more time with him, but I don't know if it's too early or inappropriate to have a talk with him about it. Another issue is, I have another great guy asking me to date him, but I don't want cut this guy loose too early. What should I do? Should I just be patient for now and give him a little more time, have a talk with him about it, or let him go? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2009): I'd see the second guy too if I was you...actually I am in the same situation right now, and I am seeing them both...with a third guy I was seeing but who's overseas right now. If you're not in anything exclusive with the first guy, there's nothing wrong with getting to know someone else as well, with the possibility of dating him. Right now you're just getting to know each other. Plus if you're seeing someone else you'll feel less concerned about this guy not wanting to see you on every free night he has. My equivalent to your guy (We've been seeing each other for a couple of months) completely dropped off the planet a week ago and didn't reply to my last text. So I just didn't get in touch again and this morning he called and said he was so sorry, he'd been really busy and can he buy me dinner tonight? It's a lot better for getting him to chase you again if you're not chasing him.
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