A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hi everyone i have a bit of a problem with my best mate i dont know what to do he is 36 nearly 37 and recently confided in me that he has been having a relationship (mainly just sexual) with a 16 year old...ok this sounds alot worse its making him sound like a paedophile or soemthing...but he is not. HE IS A DECENT GUY normally, i just did not think he would do something like this...the worst thing is he has a GIRLFRIEND who knows nothing of this and they have a good relationship he has never cheated on any girlfriend before so its obviously just lust for this really pretty and sexually experienced 16 year old (he is her teacher, although not in school so its not as though he is at risk from being caught)....i think he is being stupid as he could get in ALOT of trouble...at first he was just using this teenager for sex i think, but now i think he has really developed feelings for her and would not hurt her (they are very close)...but still i dont know what to do as ...1. i feel bad for his GIRLFRIEND she is a nice person and does not deserve this....2. i feel really bad for the teenager, as she is too young to be in a relationship with him and could ge hurt very easily....true, she is very mature, but also clearly vulnerable as why else would she be interested in someone of his age. basixcally she could do alot better.3. i dont know what to do about my friend, he is way out of his depth here and i dont know whats got into him.can someone please tell me WHY WOULD HE BE DOING SOMETHING LIkE THIS? and is there anything i can do about it?thanks, al.
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male
reader, rcn  +, writes (2 February 2008):
 I wouldn't have sex with a sixteen year old girl. I received an offer, could of, she is an attractive young lady, but I told her to hit me up in about 10 years, and we'd talk.
I know in your country, 16 is the age of consent. The issue here then becomes him being her teacher. I'm fairly sure, even in your country, there is a certain code of ethics teachers must follow. I know here, they'd go to prison for the sex with a child, and loose their license to teach permanently.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2008): Now come on hes not a paedophile shes legal name one straight male that wouldnt have sex with a 16 year old girl and ill show you a liar
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2008): I am a 17 year old girl, and have recently started dating a 35 year old man. We do have a lot in common, get on really well and everything. So it is possible. I know that part of his attraction to me is that I am younger than him, but that's fine with me because part of my attraction to him is that he's older, more mature than guys my age. But seriously, I wouldn't be with him if he were just any old 35-year-old guy who asked for a quick shag with someone half his age.
I think the real problem is that he's cheating. Both girls must feel like crap from the way he's carrying on! It is his own problem to sort out but if you think you could help in any way, don't hesitate. Tell him to end his relationship with his girlfriend, or the 16 year old. Or all of them will get hurt eventually.
Good luck with it mate x
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A
female
reader, speedcat +, writes (20 January 2008):
dammm if it was my daughter id be pissed!!! if i was the girlfriend id be pissed!!!! shes barely legal and what could they have in common? maybe shes looking for a father figure, poor thing. and maybe hes looking for his youth again? I dont know, age dont matter but only to a point.Maybe you could talk to him, looks like hes barking for trouble.
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A
female
reader, Manya +, writes (18 January 2008):
You are a VERY GOOD friend to this man, and I think he is not being a moral person. As a teacher he shouldn't be involved with a student. Period!!!!
You should tell him that as his friend you have to tell him that he is doing a bad thing, and also he could (and maybe should) get fired.
I heard of a story where the man got the teenager pregnant and the teenager's father commited suicide from depression around this time! Sixteen-year-olds should be focusing on friends their own age and school and figuring out their identities. If he really cares about her, her should end the affair.
If they are deeply in love, they could wait a few years, if it's really love, then it
will wait.
Perhaps he's afraid of commiting to his girlfriend or something. I feel sorry for her, she is being deceived and must feel it psychologically. It all sounds like a dreadful mess, and you are a great friend to him to care and write askCupid!!! it is hard to be a friend to someone when you feel they are out of bounds. Good luck and Bless you!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2008): Tell him what you have just told us and see what his reaction is, especially to the bit about how hurt his girlfriend would be.
Being cheated on is very hurtful but it is not everyone who would wish to be told.
It sounds like your friend is not happy with his girlfriend, otherwise why would he go with this young girl.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (18 January 2008):
 He is sexually attracted to her innocence and beauty.There is not much you can do for them because they are in a world of their own.You may inform his g/f and let her settle the problem.You may disagree with them but any actions from you would be counter productive.Do not tell them it is wrong.They will not listen to you and you will lose a friend.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2008): I would tell him how wrong it was, even more so as he's a teacher! then I would tell the girlfreind. It's very wrong and your freind isn't decent.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (18 January 2008):
 I think you know this is totally wrong. This Girl is much to young for him, and he is taking advantage of her.
If I were you, I would talk to him and tell him you dont approve and he should finnish it before anyone gets hurt. If he refuses, I would tell his girlfriend about it.
Sorry, but if one of my male friends did this, I dont think I would be hanging around with him.
He's not a paedophile as she is over the age of consent, But it's only by the skin of his teeth isn't it.
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