A
male
age
41-50,
*hil2580
writes:I've been with a girl for almost 3 yrs, she was from spain, was studying and working over here. We got together and like any good relationship... it was good. However, she found it difficult after a while, didn't like the culture, found it difficult to make good friends, all she had was me... So after a year and a half she had the opportunity to go and finish her degree back home, it was only suppose to be for a year. Then she would move back. She went, then immediately started distancing herself. However, once a month we'd still see each other for a few days over here, everything would be great. Then she found out that her degree could not be finished in spain and she would have to do the full 3 years. We kept at it, talking regularly, emails, texts etc... she'd fly and see me once every e.g. 6 weeks. Then after a few months it became obvious she was enjoying life more there, student life, and would completely blank me for a couple of weeks, but still be active on her online sites, then ring me out of the blue, and say how much she misses me, then she'd fly over, rekindle everything... then go back, few weeks later blanks me etc... you get the picture.Recently, after blanking me, she came over, and told me how sorry she was, it would never happen again..., and was serious that she wanted to spend her life with me. A few days after she went back, again absolutely no communication from her whatsoever. So I had to finish things by email..... I didn't want to, never wanted to lose her, but this had been going on like this for almost a year. The email, which was a genuine email about how i loved her etc... but couldn't go on being treated like this didn't even make her say anything to me. Still not a word!! I've had an ill mother for a while, she would never ask about her, she generally made no attempt to make us work, but all it took was that one phone call and I'd get her over and think everything was fine!I believed she was the one. And now it turns out that 6 weeks after her coming to see me (where everything seemed fine and how she said she wanted to spend her life with me) and 3 weeks since that email, she has posted on her online network that she is now in a relationship with someone else!! And still not a single word or explanation to me. She knows how I feel and that I couldn't go on being used only when convenient to her! I tried hard to make us work... emails, texts, wouldn't bombard her, but to ignore me for so long, I just couldn't continue, and she knows how much I loved her!I just need some advice, because this is the strangest thing and really confusing! Is she playing games, is she trying to hurt me, then going to want me back. Any advice would really be appreciated. p.s. I'm 29, she is 23 (and was quite mature for her age...i believed!!!)
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female
reader, petina1 +, writes (28 November 2008):
 Sounds like she was using you as a contact over here because she was on her own. Sounds like she has been playing you and you need to forget her and move on. You seem to know really how it is because the feel of it is coming out in your writing. Why don't you write her an email wishing her luck in her life and move on. Long distance relationships are always hard anyway without all this extra you've had to deal with. Hope this helps.
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