A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a long distance relationship at the moment.. we met in my country 8 months ago and she had to go back to her own country two months ago to continue her studies.. i only decided to come on this because she is ignoring me at the moment and i don't really know why. she means the world to me but i wonder does she feel the same as she used to.. i seen her for approximately every month, a week at a time... the last time which was 3 days ago when she was leaving she wasn't as emotionally as she used to be the last few times... most of the time she seems the same as usual but sometimes especially when she goes to a party or something like that she becomes distant.. lately also when i question aspects of our relationship she asks me am i breaking up with her... this makes me think does she want me to???? she has a lot of attention men when she is at home and i'm slightly insecure about it, but what put doubts in my mind is when she says "i'd forgive you if you if you cheated on me". it makes me think she has cheated on me and trying to justify it... at the moment for the first time ever i cant contact her at all, she went out with work colleagues and never contacted me to say she was as usual. i tryed ringing her but she cancelled my calls and then turned her phone off, its now 4pm and her phone hasn't been on since midnight last night, which is strange. another aspect to our problem is that she hgas to stay in her country for the next two years to complete her studies and i have to learn the language to live there soon and she doesn't think i will, she tells me that anyway but i will if i come over... is she tryin to end our relationship... sorry for the presentation, i'm bit drunk, i hope you can give me some answers, maYBE wat you think she is thinking, i would really appreciate it! thanks for reading!
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cheated on me, drunk, insecure, long distance Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, howcomehoney  +, writes (6 November 2008):
 Ugh! Long-distance things are so hard because the person literally disappears every time they turn off their phone or go somewhere with no signal. I'm in one too. I go out with my friends and find a bunch of hysterical messages from my girlfriend later. She goes out, doesn't answer the phone for ages, and I find myself feeling the same way.
Don't stress out. When she goes out of reach, you are sitting around imagining terrible things about what might be going on. In the long run, it's unhealthy. It's so easy to doubt when you never see the other person, and it's hard for her as well. You really need to talk to her, though.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): I think you need to have a heart-to-heart with her about what she wants and what you want from the relationship. She could be cheating on you, or trying to make you think so to see how you will react. Maybe she feels that with it being long distance she doesn't get as much attention as she would like. You need to get to the bottom of things, to see if she is as serious about it as you are.
You sound very genuine. I wish you the best. If it doesn't work out, there will be someone you will be happier with.
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