A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Need some help regarding a long distance situation. Long story short and il try explain it as detailed but as short as possible so you get an understanding of the situation. ok i met a girl ONLINE one year ago, she is not a complete stranger, she is freinds with one of my freinds thats how we got introduced, she was in her country i was in my country. anyway we kept in contact and spoke everyday for about a year .. during that year she was single, but about 1 month before we met, she was in a 2 year relationship and around the time period we met, her and her ex broke up. So after they broke up thats basicaly when we met.. during that year we got close, spoke everyday, webcam , phone, msn, facebook etc. Its your typical LONG DISTANCE ROMANCE START. Now im writing this for LDR experts to read, and not idiots who will comment ignorant comments saying that " what we have cant be real love etc because we have never met etc ". I know what i was going through and i know what i felt. anyway as time went on we began to fall for eachother hard and fast, expressing that we miss eachother alot,, expressed our feelings and love, wanting mariage, wanting kids, wantingto meet up etc. it was your typical long distance romance/love. frustrations began to grow and paranoia started setting in about 7 or 8 months into us talking, we literaly were going crazy that we couldnt see eachother, things began falling apart, we began running out of things to talk about, started getting sad and depressed we couldnt be togahter, no joke we were longing for eachother, we had deep convosations, far beyond any girl iv met its very hard to explain without wasting your time so il keep it siple. So as things started to fall apart, i made plans to go see her , she even said that she would fly and come see me, but i refused, truth is.. i was worried about being heart broken, i was scared about taking the leep and meeting in person... what if it all went wrong? ther was some insecuritys that i was dealing with beacuse of a past relationship where my ex of 4 years left me, thats why i took so long to meet up with this girl, i told her all this and she always reasured me that i was the 1 for her and that she loves me, she said that she also loved her ex but did not want to be with him and wanted to be with me. so i was stil abit unsure but i always had it in the back of my mind.. but i believed her.anyway during the 1 year we were in contact i refused meeting her couple of times, she expressed great hurt over this. but i explained my side of the story (above) and she seemed to understand, anyway just recently i realized that i loved her and i couldnt let the fear of heartbreak get in the way of our future. so i began to make plans to go see her u and live back in her country where i was originaly from (my home town) but here is the part that i am concerned about, latley in the last month we havent been in much contact, things were fading and she was upset about our future, as i made plans to go see her i havent told her i was coming to see her yet it was a suprise, but this is the problem, as of few days ago i see her facebook change to " in a relatinoshp" she is back with her ex. We have not spoken in few days so i havent had chance to speak to her about it. But what are all your thoughts on this? Should i let tihs go? is she trying to play games? did she really mean wat she said? is she just in a relationship because i wasnt there for her? i know 2 years is a long time, so maybe she has stronger histoiry with her ex? For anyone reading this the reason they broke up was beacuse he said he didnt love her anymore and she didnt want to be in that type of realtionship, so they broke up. Now me and her spoke about if we were rebound relationships because i to broke up with my ex, but we wereboth sure that we love eachother and want a future, now im sitting here thinkikng wtf? if she is in relatinoship.. shud i not bother going back? what should i do, i am really confused... by no means am i hurt.. i dont care if she is in relationsihpo, i just dont want to waste my time, what should i do? any help would be appreciated. we are both in our twentys..
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broke up, depressed, facebook, her ex, long distance, msn, my ex, period Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni dont know if im hurt or not, im just more suprised... because i remember her telling me that she is not going to wait forever, but that was only a few weeks ago! and she said to try makme it over in the next few months (couple weeks ago) , now i see her in relationship. so im ont sure if she is doing this just to piss me of, i appreciatre the replys , il take it into acount and try get in contact with her, not much i can do... any other thoughts? the last thing she said before those other things was " soon il be gone and you will realize" lol i was like wtf? whats the rush we love eachother we can wait it out, but i think she is a player and was playing me, gut feeling, but i duno man... not sure what to do
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (10 February 2011):
 You're gonna have to talk to her to know exactly whats going on dude, but I think if she's changed her facebook status that its definitely to let you know specifically...
I doubt she's lying about being back with her ex just to mess with your head though... but you'd have to chat with her to find that out. If you can't get in contact with her in the next few days then I'd say its safe to assume that she's not playing a game to get your attention and it may be time to back off.
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A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (10 February 2011):
I don't reckon we can tell you what happens here. You have less information than you. If you are unsure, we can hardly guess and be right about it.
The obvious next step is talk to her as soon as possible. Of course you can't go to another country to see someone, while you are not sure if she is dating someone else. You have to talk to her.
Anyway, you say you don't mind if she's back with her ex. That sounds like you aren't very much in love. I mean, I would certainly be hurt if my girlfriend were dating someone else. You started writing about how your LDR is a true-love relationship. So how come you don't mind if she's with someone else?
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