A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I have been talking to this guy for a little less than a year. We don't attend the same school so it's mostly through the phone and text messages. However, I do visit as often as I can.Now I have grown to like and care for him greatly and pride myself in being an honest person so I don't shield my thoughts or feelings from him. And he has said to he does the same in return since he appreciated my honesty. I am not a relationship type of person but he has since grown on me and I can see myself actually being with him. He says he is not ready for a relationship, and I respect that because of the distance between us at the moment.Although I care and like him a great deal I have not gone passed second base with him even though he has tried. I made it very clear during our courtship that I don't sleep with people I am not in relationships with.Well, our courtship ended not to long ago, for reasons I have yet to know. But I haven't called to find out either on the account that I never use to call him for the past 11 months --sad but true. Is my lack of reaching out proof that I didn't like or care about him as much as I thought? Is it me hoping he realizes that he misses me and decided to call? Or is it my way of protecting myself from knowing the truth on whether or not he was justing looking to get laid?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (10 October 2009):
It sounds like you were worried that he was using you, and you wanted to see whether he cared that much. He hasn't called, so he wasn't interested. He said he wasn't ready for a relationship, which sounds like he was interested in sex and that was it. I'd say that you've had a good escape. Find a good guy who shares your standards and respects you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2009): I think it is because it is a long distance relationship, they don't work and you are just afraid to really emotionally invest in him and I don't blame you.
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