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female
,
anonymous
writes: Before I married my husband, he had a seven year reletionship with an older woman. Now they talk on the phone often enough(at least once a week)and for twenty-thirty minutes at the time.My husband says that they are just plain friends, but I feel that this is not right. Please advise what to do about this or how to approach the problem.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2006): I wouldn't like this going on with my bloke and someone from his past. Say you are not chuffed with it and get the calls reduced, push her into the background where she belongs. How would he feel if the tables were turned? MMM i think he wouldn't be pleased. I have found that blokes can easily justify things like that and really it's just not on. If he needs someone to talk to then why can't it be you? Or hasn't he got any male friends. No i wouldn't like it. So tell him how you feel now before it goes any further.
Take care xx
A
female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (16 November 2006):
 I understand your feelings I would ask him to reduce contact at 1 a month at fist and then to 3 months at leats he's got a psycholigical dependence on this relationship and if something goes wrong he could move back to her
be careful about the way you tell him you're not pleased though you understand is difficult to move on but you have done it to be with him so.....
be tactful
hope this works
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A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (16 November 2006):
 i think u need to relax and enjoy ur marriage, many couples break-up and remain friends, i think this is maintained by the friendship they had while dating, usually even when they break-up they are very civil about it and no hard feelings sustained which means whatever u do might not change their friendship u might even find out that all the great romantic ideas ur boyfriend has ever come up with they were all from her when u have fights she is his shrink not bcos he dispises u but bcos he has found a friend who understand him and a good influence. anyway all this are just my speculations so that u can have a positive atitude towards this friendship, i will suggest u try and find out why they are still friends and tell him it bothers u, this might help u guys to discuss this frienship maturely, maybe u might even learn to accept her as a family friend or if she wasnt there to get u they can compromise their friendship for ur security. stop feeling threatened by their friendship, he is ur husband now and nothing can change that, make peace with that he might not want to break the friendship and if u keep acting insecure u might loose him to her.
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