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female
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*hocolate1
writes: I am beginning to wonder whether my hubby is depressed and need to know what I can do to help.Its almost like he has become stuck in a rut doing a job an hour away from where we live and it is not stimulating him. He makes excuse after excuse about not finding a new one probably because he doesn't get interviews - I had to organise an appointment for him at an agency. He won't even move to be nearer his job.He is always asking for sex but since having had our third child I find I just want to sleep rather than get involved (I know its heartless).He has definitely become more angry towards me from time to time and seems to try and wind me up from time to time.We went to marriage counselling for a session and he wondered why we were there and looked totally bemused throughout the whole session and then weeks later when we had an argument he told me that the counsellor had said 'you must do so and so'.He woke up this morning complaining of stomach pains and aching after we had a rough night with the children. We are deeply in debt and we have gone through specialist people for advice but obviously the card creditor people ring up and he ignores the phone he will only communicate by letter and I have taken it on to actually speak with them should they ring up. He is making payments to them and I know the most logical thing would be to move house to a smaller one but he doesn't want two boys in one room and says I will be climbing the walls in a smaller one. His dad is helping to pay to extend upstairs so that the children all have their own room - I think it would be better used to help us move to a smaller house so that we can use the equity to pay off the debts.I am at my wits end to know what to do, don't want to be accused of nagging anymore but just feel totally stuck in a rut with him now to the point where I feel that I may have fallen out of love with him.What can I do to help things - I know he has got to help himself but there is only so much I can deal with especially as we have enough stress in our lives with a special needs child as well.
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (25 September 2006):
 It sounds like with a job he doesn't like, debts and alot of other things going on he is getting to the point where he doesn't see a way out of these problems so he isn't going to even try which could well be a form of depression brought on by everything going on in your lives right now.
You need to talk to him and try and encourage him to see his doctor therefore his doctor can either give him something or refer him to see someone that he can talk to because this can only get worse and all the time he is being like this he is pulling you down with him and you have 3 kids to look after as it is.
Good luck :o)
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