A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi i really need some good advice, Ive been dating a good friend, we have been on and off for a year, nothing serious but decided 3 months ago to make a proper go of it, we get on so well and really enjoy each others company, we split up last week for something stupid, but got back together, as my guy said he couldn't live without me,last night he confessed to me that he has a terrible sex addiction, he said in the 3 months he was with me, he never was unfaithful, but that on our week apart he took Ecstasy and slept with a 55 year old woman, he said he also had oral sex on cam with a girl off the net, at her house and that he also slept with another girl too.As if this was not enough he confessed that, in the past he has slept with men when drunk but would sleep with anyone sober, even 50/60 year old women he said he didn't care as long as he got sex.He was crying and begging me for help,I wont turn my back on him as Ive had my fair share of issues in my life and wouldnt have the heart to walk away from anyone in that state, but i dont know how to feel, he has swore he is not gay that its an addiction, has any one any input on this and pleas i dont want people to be nasty i just want adviceJenna.
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female
reader, Queeny  +, writes (28 May 2008):
 Its not fair for people to be nasty.. true.. He is one honest guy.. i really admire that in him.. is that not wat we want? at times women can't handle the truth even when they want it desperately.. i think you should help him out. he has accepted he has an addiction... if he was not unfaithful when with you, he deserves your 2nd chance.. it seems that he does not enjoy it the least bit.. let him now go for therapy to get off the addiction. do not entangle yourself in it.. let him heal by himself then your relationship will work..all the best..
A
female
reader, Isabella1974 +, writes (27 May 2008):
 Hi Jenna,
It sounds to me like your friend has low self esteem. It seems he is trying to fill some empty space inside and is using sex as a way to fill this need. He has admitted that he is addicted to sex and the 3 months he was with you he was faithful, could it be the fact that you both broke up and he was so upset that he went off and took ecstasy and slept with these other women.
My one worry for him and especially for you is the risk of STDS, was he careful when he had sex with these other women/men, did he wear a condom, its very important. If you stay with him, i would be sure he get check out for any stds just to be on the safe side.
He needs counselling, to get to the bottom of why he feels the need to go and have sex with just anyone? There is some underlinig issues here i think and only a professional can help him.
I know you dont want to turn your back on him, but before i would consider having a relationship with your friend, he needs to sort this out first of all. By all means support and be there for him.
In answer to your question, it seems that he is bi_sexual, likes both men and women.
I hope my advice helps you a bit, take care.
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A
female
reader, :):):)  +, writes (27 May 2008):
He isnt neccessarily gay he could be bisexual or even just a bicurious.Alot of people experiment at some point in their lives and its likely that this was his time.
Sex addiction is an illness and he can be treated for it, look in your local phone book for groups of therapy sessions. And stress the importance of using condoms to him.
Well done for being so understanding.
xxx
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