A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing the same guy for 6 years and I am in love with him and I've told him that! He told me that he loves me too and wants me in his life but he is not sure if he is "in love" with me. What does that mean??? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, jess62 +, writes (5 April 2010):
I have felt that way before towards someone I was with, of course I wasn't with him for 6 years, just two. First you need to realize what your theory on love is.
I personally and highly associate with a theory of romantic love that has three elements: 1. Intimacy 2. Commitment 3. Passion
My conclusion (and personal experience) is.... the "I love you" part just means he cares about you deeply and is bonded to you. He's intimate with you and is probably committed to you, although, the latter could be questionable due to his lack of passion.
As for the "But I'm not in love with you" part... he just doesn't feel that loving fiery passion for you. He probably wants butterflies and excitement. He wants to feel strong emotions for someone combined with an adrenaline rush. Now, don't get all buck wild just because you're not meeting HIS standards on what being in love means. Both of you should really evaluate your relationship.. logically! Especially you, since you're the one who is probably in love
Consider asking him the following, if you haven't already
1. Ask him if he's ever been in love
2. Ask him to tell you what it felt like for him
3. If his perspective on being in love has changed
4. If it has or hasn't changed, does he feel similar things in regards to your relationship? If so, what?
TALK TO HIM! It'll help and it's very refreshing and gives you perspective. Just try and be understanding. If you can't live with his answers it's definitely time to move on! If he's not telling you what you want to hear then he has probably just "settled" with you, and if given the chance, he will leave you for someone else.
Always keep an open mind, but don't forget what you need and want!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2010): Honey, it means just that--he loves you, but he is not crazy head over heels in love with you. You feel more strongly about him than he does about you. A person can love you and still cheat on you, but when a person is IN LOVE with you, the chances of them cheating are slim to none, they think about you all the time, they want to be with you all the time, you consume their thoughts...that is how it is when you are in love. A person can love you and go days without speaking, texting, emailing or spending time with you..a person in live can and will not. So, I hope this answers your question.
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