A
female
age
22-25,
*ariemcgee
writes:I have two gay friends that are dating, I was hanging out with them and later in the night I started cuddling with one while the other was somewhere else. This is pretty normal because we are friends. We then went to bed and I slept beside the one I’m closer to. He immediately put his arm around me and spooned me, I thought nothing of it because he’s gay. Then his hands were on my boobs and ass. I don’t know what to think and I’m so confused we were also drunk.
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (20 August 2020):
 This is very confusing to me. It seems that you regularly cuddle, spoon and sleep with people who are no more than friends with you. But, in my defense, I'm demisexual, which means i need to have an emotional connection before I'm interested in a physical connection. Also I don't drink alcohol, never have.
My only advice is that you restrict your intake of Alcohol. Alcohol lowers inhibitions in most people. This event would not have happened if your (plural your) normal inhibitions were functioning.
If two people are in a dating relationship, it is inappropriate for one of then to be having sexual interactions with another person.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2020): Don't be confused. He's still gay. It's a myth that gay-men have a strong aversion to females. Women are usually nice and soft; and you're nice to hug or cuddle. He was out-of-line to take spooning and cuddling farther than the usual. The test is if he got visibly-aroused (erect); and tried to have sex with you. Even then it's inconclusive when someone is drunk.
He took some extra liberties, but don't assume it makes him bisexual; no more than a straight-guy who knowingly hugs a gay-friend. A phobe would immediately assume he must be gay or curious; if he can touch a known gay-guy in any-way, shape, or form. Guys horse-around; they wrestle and grab-ass. That's nothing. Don't encourage anything, scold him for bad-behavior. You don't want to lose your friends. Cuddling is out, if things are going to get chintzy!
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