A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:(I'm re-posting this cause i didn't get enough feedback last time)Let me set the whole situation up first. Basically, I'm in this situation where I think the sister of basically my tightest homie(closest friend) is feelin me( likes me,lol), but the thing is, I think I might be feelin her too. I consider my homie to be like blood, so I always looked at his sister in the same way, just lookin out for her like she was family. But the reality of the situation is that we are all young adults, and me and her ain't related in no type a real way except that I respect my homie and I wouldn't cross that line wit his sister, you feel me. I'd say that over the last 2 years or so, me and his sister have prolly been around each other just once in a while, maybe like once a month or so, and as time has gone on, we would talk and catch up, and we would see more of each other's personality. So recently, we was talkin, and outta nowhere she asked me if I had a gurl, I said nah cause I don't at the moment, and she was like why not, and I asked her if she had a dude, and she said nah. So we dropped that subject.In general, whenever we together, we just crack jokes on each other back and forth, and she always be talkin bout how funny she think I am. But let me fast forward to the other day, this is what really got me thinkin that she might be feelin me like that. So it was the birthday of another one of our homies, and me and her got stuck runnin some errands for the party, (like gettin the cake and balloons and what not) so we ended up spendin tha whole day together, just me and her. So we was talking about a lot of different things like the future and what we tryin ta do, etc etc music, and other random stuff. So we get back ta da house, but the party still a couple of hours away right.So me, her, and 2 of her girls was chillen jus talkin, for a few hours, and there was so many times when I caught her just starin at me, I'm talkin bout when I wasn't even tha one talkin, and like 2 or 3 times, i called her out and was like what u lookin at( in a jokin way), and the last time, she said" you wouldn't know i was lookin if u wasn't lookin". Then at another time in the convo, she was tellin me somethin, and I said somethin back, and she was like" you're a jerk, you're such a jerk", but she had a big ol smile on her face when she said it too. Then at another point, later during the party, she randomly asked me for a hug in front of like 2 of her girls, and they was like whaaat( like they faces was like whaaat,lol) cause she don't never hug me, we ain't never been on that tip. So i gave her a hug, and she was huggin me tight for like a minute. And later, we was all chillen on a couch and she was too close ta me, i mean like her body was leant up on mine like we was booed up. so i had ta get outta there only cause I ain't wanna get in no beef wit my peoples cause that's my homies sister yo feel me. Even though she was lookin 2 fine. And when I was leavin she came after me and was askin me why I was leavin, and I just made somethin up.So, after hearin all that, I wanna know what you think as far as, (1)do you think she feelin me or am I jus makin somethin outta nothin. (2) If she is feelin me, how do I proceed, cause real talk, I think I got feelins for her, but the 2 main things holdin me back is 1) thats ma best homies sister, and that would most likely mess most of my friendships up as well as maybe her wit her own family. But if we did get together and somehow smoothed everybody else out, i feel like we might have somethin really special on that real tip.and 2) when we was talkin bout the future, honestly, i can't see myself goin where she tryna go, but at the same time people do compromise, we could find a middle ground....but anyway, that's everything, so what u think, lol. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2009): The slang you use makes it hard to understand you, but yes, it sounds like she is into you.
You said yourself (as far as I can tell) that if you get with this girl it is going to cause you problems with your "homie" and possibly your other friends. So you're going to have to decide if this is worth it to you.
If you already know that you and she will be headed different directions in the future, that adds a whole other dimension to the issues you have to sort out. If I were you I'd probably just say "bros before hoes" to this one, and preserve your friendship with everyone involved. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2009): Well man, in many instances you find best friends hooking up with the dude's sister. Someone explained to me why that is, but just know it happens a lot. She likes you, I think that's clear enough. About you friend...err homie, you'll have to ask him either way. Not for permission but you just wanna get the idea if it would be cool with him. Suggest that you may have feelings for her but you aren't sure yourself because after all you don't wanna create tension between you and your homie. But if you talk to him calmly and seriously prolly hope you can get some kind of "ok". With the sister...how to proceed...I dunno, she likes you and you like her, so I guess something is bound to happen, there will be more chances like you had before. About future goals, no sense in worrying about something that is soooo far off, when you 2 arent even official or anything. Worry about one thing at a time. But in many relationships, older couples they have different goals and manage to support and be there for each other just fine. It's a little harder because it not the "norm" but it exists. Good luck yo!
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