A
female
 ,
*appytochat
writes:Hello,Ok so I know this question isn't exactly relationship related, well technially it is, i mean 2 friends have a 'relationship', but im gona ask it anyways.I have had this friend since I was in year 4 (so thats almost 10 years!). We met in primary school and you know hanged out alot type of thing, did all the usual kiddy things. Then i moved away with my family to a different town. We kept in contact and were like pen pals. And then we both got the internet and still do talk HEAPS on msn instant messenger, basicly every night. So we have become pretty close. But the problem is I feel like this relationship is very one sided. Like im giving eveyrthign to her and shes reciveing it all, but im not getting anything back. Now don't miss read me here, im a very giving person and dont always expect something back, but for the fact that for the last 3 years in particular i have spent so much time talking to her, giving her my advice and love and caring for her, that she doesnt give one little thing back or even show she cares, makes me really sad and feel like ive wasted so much time. So how is she selfish you maybe be thinking? well basicly everything has to be about her. Im fine with talking about her boy issues or family issues for hours on end a day, i truly am, as i understand she needs my support, but for her to not return the favour makes me so mad. I mean i could bring a topic up about me and maybe say 'i feel so bad at the moment because i think my bf is going to dump me' or something along the lines that means im very upset and i need her and a typical reply from her would be 'awww ok...' then she the next sentence she says will be something like 'ben is like so anoying me at the moment, i like so cant believe it'!More like i cant believe what she just said!!!So yeah, basicly i feel like she uses me. Its always about her the relationship and im honestly just gettign so sick of it. Yet i dont knwo if i have the heart to just break it off. I feel like my friend is using me, what should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2005): well my dear, i feel your friend is a selfish person but i dont think she uses u. she is so caught up in her own problem and doesnt give a hoot bout the other person. i am afraid part of the problem u created it cos u seem to be a very considerate and helpful person.at the beginning u should have gotten her involved in ur own issues. she now sees u as someone who fixes things for her and probably as the almighty am afraid. u need to ge it into her head that u also have ur own issues and would like for her to pay attention and help. every relationship be it simple friendship have to be give and take and there is nothing wrong for u to expect some loving nature and advise from ur friend.I suggest u talk to her bout it, dont feel u should end a friendship that have been on for that long. well everthing depends on u really. wishing u the best and hope i was able to help.
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