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female
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anonymous
writes: hi,ive been with my current bf now for nearly 3 months, not long i know. in the beginning we took it really slow, not knowing what we both wanted, but the last month we both had long chats about "us" and we both decided that we wanted to be serious with eachother and faithful. weve both been engaged before, a long time ago now, and weve both had serious relationships. the problem is, that a couple of nights ago, he told me that he loved me "but not in love with me"? over the last couple of days, hes said that he loves everything about me, the fact that we have the same sense of humour, the way i treat him, the fact that he trusts me so much, basically very compatible, in his eyes. hes even mentioned a future together. He said that im the only girl that hes really considered a future with and marriage. even though he was engaged before. he got engaged to a girl after a long relationship with her, bacause she fell pregnant with their child, that wasnt planned. he said i suppose i thought about a future with her, but only because of the child. His child is not a problem or his exs to be honest, the proplem is, that love to me is a serious word. and i can honestly say that so far, i can see a future with him too. i have never felt so good and comfortable with anyone else. ive told him that i love him, but he dosnt say it back, and im so worried that his talk is something that hes said before, to every girl. i dont want him to say it cos it comes natural to him, the fact that he feels he has to say it. he was the first to mention the L word though, and i didnt say it back at first cos i wanted to make sure i felt the same way too. should i be worried that i could be another notch on his list, so to speak, another girl hes said this to, and to not take it so seriously, or does he really mean it? any advice wil be so welcomed, especially off men to get a male oppinion. thank you.x
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2005): He probably does mean he loves u. i would be to shy to tell a girl i loved them unless i really did. if you dont know what to say after hes says "i love you" ust say " i need time" or something. If you say nothing or give him a blank stare or seam like your ignoring him hes going to back off u because he doesnt think u like him back. and saying i need time give him the idea your thinking about it and considering it.
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