A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was told by this woman that her and my fiance were taking off on there lunch hr and having sex. i asked him he said it was a lie. i don't have any proof. what do i do. we all work in the same building too.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, 48years  +, writes (8 April 2009):
 "Think a thousand times before saying I Do.
Make absolutely sure that he is true to you and only you."
words from my mom.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009): Wow, I know how you feel, I have had a problem before similar to this when an ex girlfriend told me she had slept with my then boyfriend a week before he told me he loved me for the first time. I don't know if she was telling me the truth, but I have to think the possibility is not that far off, because I don't think men really fully commit until they do become your fiance....and he wasn't at the time....I had to choose to believe him and the reason I did is because I knew that he wanted to love me, and she was nothing more than a bed buddy and really never was a girlfriend to him.....but that still didn't make it OK if it had been the truth.....she had a personality disorder too and part of that was fear of abandonment and superficial relationships, so she was motivated to get rid of me to hang on to him....so I had to consider the source.
What I am trying to illustrate is you have to consider the source. Why would this woman want to hurt you with this information? Why would she not care that your fiance know that she was saying this about the two of them? Is she some kind of stalker obsessed with him, a fatal attraction type? Had they had sexual relations in the past before the two of you were engaged and now she is mad that you have him and she doesn't? Is she a spurned lover?
Do you care what the truth is? Do you understand and forgive that he may have done that before he asked you to marry him? If he did this after your engagement would it be the reason to postpone your marriage or break up permanently? Do you trust your fiance? Can you move forward and decide to love and trust him?
If you can't, if there is any doubt in your mind, then do not marry him.....the rest as to whether or not you choose to forgive him or believe him is up to you. Since you couldn't be there to have proof, you are going to have to listen to your gut and to your heart and make a decision. No one can tell you what to do or answer if you should or shouldn't believe his side of things.
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