A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi,i have an ex who i had a child with he got married not long after our split.My girl is three now he left me when she was just over a year.It took along time to get over the breakup,when i had to move out he left me with stuff all and a bit of dept,even though he had a good income.So i had to start again with stuff all money.Got there in the end, he saw our daughter nearly every second weekend sometimes it would be a month before he saw her again.Now im back with my partner who i dated for 5 years when younger my daughter and him get on well and she loves to be with us.In the last around 4 months hes steped it up to every weekend which me and my daughter struggle with as we are tight and she says every weekend she dosent want to go to dads,she wants to stay with me.That breaks my heart but i do my best to tell her daddy loves you to despite the past i make it sound fun.I guess i dont understand why now is he trying to play a big part were was he before around stuff all,im wondering if hes trying to make a point to my parter that hes the father.My partner dosent get involved so he must feel treatened by my partners relationship with our child.Hes getting harder to deal with has an attidude which i dont understand shes young and maybe its to much to be taken away everyweekend we would like a weekend to.Now hes suggesting to have her one night in the week hes more interested than hes ever been.Its taking its tole on me and its scaring as hes so hard to deal with.Example he had a chance to have her last xmas but declined as he wanted to go away.this xmas i said half and half be good as she needs her family and he said he wanted to take her away as he didnt have her last xmas,that was his choose not mine.It just hurts why now when we want to be with her also i love her with every part of me and we are both finding this hard.when i try and speck to him hes not understanding.She also states she dosent like his wife but he just said that shes just being a three year old and theyget on.please help it hurts now that things are going right and me and bubs are settled and ive found someone i love and truly loves me y the father pulling finger now
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female
reader, petina1  +, writes (28 November 2010):
 You need to talk to family courts and get some contact routines in place. Is he having her when he likes because it's his decision. The family courts will take in to consideration what it is the child would like, she has rights too. You all must listen to her. If she feels it's too much every weekend then she must not be made to go. Please listen to the child and make her father listen. His situation must have either changed dramatically for him to have the time for her, or like you think, he doesnt want her to have another dad. The child is in danger of becoming a pawn between you. By the way your new man sounds very mature about it all and very caring. I hope you can take it to the correct authority to sort it out before the father does any long term damage. He seems to be a very controlling person.
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