A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my ex were in a serious relationship for about a year and half and i mean very serious. We started fighting towards the end deciding to break things off he then never contacted me would avoid seeing me avoid talking to me, and never was there for me when i needed him then i saw him running around with another girl that i think he was dating. Him and I were still talking mid Oct. and he started dating her Nov. 1 i then just maintained no contact with him and he ended up calling me crying saying he was sorry he said i would always have a hold on him and he is just so confused and he loves me and misses me ( all while still dating his rebound for about a month) then we see eachother he says its to far to her to go back to me and he doesnt know what to do.So then he gives me the we can be friends after we see eachother, and i said no to being friends because i figure he still missses me and him knowing he cant be regular in my life will make him think of me even more then he is already is doing already only 1 month in with this girl.A couple days later i saw messages to her that said everything he told me while being in relationship with me saying he misses her when shes gone, hes so happy when shes around, when he holds her hand he never wants to let go, (note that this girl has been his long time friend, and was the closest available body when him and i broke up) he was never interested in her at all before and i know this for a fact so why is he clinging on to her now? He said things that honestly made my heart sink he told her shes beautiful even when she doesnt try and that its only been 2 months but his feelings for her make it seem like a lifetime. And he is so scared of loosing her shes everything he has always wanted. I honestly want to know is he really feeling this way? Cause it seems like he is rushing things way to much especially after he has already started off there relationship with infedelity (when we saw eachother we made out) and he didnt even tell her he called me he didnt even tell her that much.All his friends things he has some issues to work out before being in another relationship, and think he is attempting to replace me.Ultimate question is-He just said he loved me missed me i would always have a hold on him he just wishes we could start over but he doesnt know how, just only 4 days before saying all this stuff to this girl, is he clearly in an unhealthy mind set? Im afraid the relationship COULD last because she is totally blind as he tells her nothing and doesnt think he is a rebound, and that he is pushing everything he feels for me onto her but i think all to quickly, he was crying upset just a week before telling her these things and you dont get over the hurt of a relationship that fast.He is spending ALL of his time talking to her hanging out with her, misses her so much when she is gone, honestly to me it seems he has no feels towards her as an individual but rather the support and comfort being in relationship with her brings, im just afraid everyone but him can tell he is only lying to himself and that he will get so emotionally involved and end up getting hurt or seriously hurting her when he comes to his senses. Either way, from the things i've said do you think this relationship is doomed to failure already?
View related questions:
broke up, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): Thanks for the advice, but i have stopped talking to him, and that wasnt really an answer to my question i know its over and i have moved on to another person but i have taken my time i just want to know why he is even attempting to replace me so fast, my main question is about him and is this healthy for him to do. I have removed himself from him but he still acts very much in love with me i wish there was some way to help it because everyone says he is lost. But insists he is doing fine and all of a sudden loving this new girl it just seems like he is takin the rebound thing to something more and im afraid he will get hurt.
A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (5 January 2010):
 Your relationship with this guy is over. Stop checking up on him, stop talking to him, stop being available when he calls. He's met someone new. For all you know, he was already seeing her behind your back and that's why he had someone so readily available to run to (you can never be positive unless you spend every second with him). You never really mentioned what went wrong in your relationship. I suspect he is very co-dependent, meaning he has to be with SOMEONE rather than being alone and sorting out his head. But there's nothing you can do be remove yourself from the situation so you don't keep getting hurt. He's moved on you should do the same.
...............................
|
