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female
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anonymous
writes: Dear Cupid, My ex-boyfriend recently began making contact with me after about 18 months since we split. We work together and it had been fairly difficult at times to avoid him. I was utterly heartbroken at the split, he had cheated on me with more than one woman and the final straw was finding him in bed with one of his daughter's friend's mothers. I am with someone else now and have been for about 16 months, at the start he was on hand to help me back on my feet as I was really depresed and lacking in self esteem at the time, due to cruel way my ex had treated me, saying he would not stop with me until I was in a mental institution, etc. Time has healed those wounds to some extent and I am no longer angry and bitter and so when he approached me for a chat at work I was pleasant to him. I enjoyed speaking to him, he could always make me laugh out loud and I felt much better about myself after we had spoken. I thought no more of it, but since then he has asked me out for lunch and coffee and has been texting me sweet messages. I know I cannot trust him, but unfortunatley there is just something about him. When he is being nice, I do not think anyone could make me happier. He recently asked me is I still loved him and I said that I did not, the truth is that I propably do. I am very confused. I have started to miss him again. It is making me angry with my present booyfriend when he hasn't really done anything wrong and I am starting to mope about if I do not see my ex. I probably know the answer, but is there any chance he could be for real, or is this just one of his cruel, selfish, pointless games?
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at work, cheated on me, heartbroken, my ex, self esteem, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2005): Booty call.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2005): Please don't go ahead and ignore your committment to your current bf and pursue the ex bf. Many women become infatuated with someone while in other relationships-they all feel just the way you do. You are having a physical response to the excitement you feel around this old ex bf. I have huge reservations about men/women who cheat on their partners. It shows poor character, and a profound disrespect for the loved one. You may pay a heavy price, doing this type of dance with the ex bf. There is nothing like an ex-boyfriend in the wings to make it difficult to fully commit and give 'your all' to the current bf. I think it's an effective armor against full commitment. Keep your heart safely in this relationship with the current bf, instead of flirting with this ass...he's not worth the grief and sorrow you will experience, if you consider reuniting with him, and you know first hand what you are up against. Use your common sense and I hope you make the best decision for yourself and your future. Take care, dear
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A
female
reader, shania  +, writes (13 November 2005):
 Dont fall in to the trap of going back to him,he will cheat on you again,i put money on it!This man is playing mind games with you,he doesnt have anyone else to pursue at the moment and he is getting a buzz out of chasing you again,knowing that he has got to you once again.His ego must be massive,please dont fall in to his wicked spell.Give your boyfriend a chance,he seems a nice,caring type,avoid any contact with your ex,i know it will be hard but you will be back to square one again,unless you want to be a victim again.
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reader, pops +, writes (13 November 2005):
The answer is " NO". He is a louse, and he is not going to change. Why would you jeopardize your current relationship by taking up with a jerk like this? What is wrong with you? and, Please, enough of this, " I just can't say no to him!" stuff. You can exercise self restraint if you want to. And, you know that. You are not a helpless victim here. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me!
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