A
male
age
41-50,
*ost Taylor
writes:*OP's own title*I have this ex girlfriend I was with for about 8 months and our relationship was very loving and caring to about the last two months. At this point she had grew really distant, so I broke up with her nov 1st 2009. What a stupid mistake i know. But anyway we kept talking after the break up. We would send I love you text messeges etc. ALthough she would answer her phone when i called or would return my phone calls. Well finally in early dec 2009 she told me that she had alot of things going on in her life and that's why she had been so distant. Well she stopped texting me the day after christmas. Even though I texted her day after day until jan 14 2010 with no response. That day I sent her an email telling her how I felt about her and that I was moving on . To behonest I didnt move on, I fell into a deep depression but she didn't know that. Well anyway valentines day comes along and she starts texting me again apologizing for the pain she caused me. So we started texting back and forth, she would say she missed me and that she still loved me and would answer all of my text's. But for the last month plus shes rarely been texting me or returning my text's and becoming very distant once again. I'm confused and so in love with her. I asked her was she seeing anyone else and she said no and then I asked her does she think about us getting back together and she says she thinks about it alot. But if I say i love her or miss her she wont respond at all. She does have a full time job and a six year old daughter so i tell myself maybe shes just really busy. I cant seem to move on and i think about her constantly. So what my question is, is she playing a game with me, and what do you think I should do?
View related questions:
broke up, christmas, ex girlfriend, I love you, move on, my ex, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2010): I think she's misses you, hasn't really moved on, and is questioning the relationship breakup but is not sure she wants to get back together. The hot & cold is often someone playing games (consciously or unconsciously) & the distance may be her trying to get you to chase her / work harder so she'll have reassurance you want to be back together with her, are dedicated & that you are willing to make an effort in trying to make it work again. Don't forget, you are the one who broke up with her so even if she misses you terribly, she is going to be very cautious now re. trying to get back together because she may not think you're genuine & she doesn't want to get hurt again. I'd suggest if you really do want to get back together with her, play it cool for a while, don't panic & just respond positively. Try to subtely show her that she can trust you & that you have changed (i.e. you won't just leave her again if things go distant or cold for a while). If she stays distant, just drop her a casual msg, email etc every now & again to keep up the contact. If she is genuine (and you show her you're genuine), I think she will start to warm up. These things can take a long time though. I do sincerely think that her re-establishing contact is a sign that she still has you on her mind & that her then pulling away could just be a sign of caution / fear that you're going to hurt her again. Also keep in mind that she thinks you've entirely moved on (based on msg you sent her) so she may be being cautious to save embarassing herself or giving herself false hope. And just because she isn't saying she loves you back, doesn't mean she isn't feeling it....again could just be a sign of caution. Ultimately, i really think that if she wasn't considering the possibility at all, she wouldn't have re-established contact.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 April 2010):
 I guess in your heart you already know what you should do : move on, and this time for real. No more contact, no more text, throw away pics and mementos, the ususl stuff.
It not that she's deliberately playing a game with you to be spiteful- she's just not too convinced about being with you and she is keeping her options open until she finds something better.
She has a job and a daughter so she is busy,ok. But she had them anyway also when she was contacting you daily. It's not like every now and then her kid takes a vacation abroad so she has more time to talk to you, right ?
Try not to take it so hard. I know right now you can't see that but there are scores of better matches for you out there.
I
...............................
|
