A
female
age
41-50,
*ot_chocolate
writes:Hi,I'm a young woman working in a hospital setting. Last year, a new guy joined the same department. We clicked. He gave me his sandwiches, we once had lunch together. I had a boyfriend, he seemed single. Once I tried to set him up with someone else, and he mumbled ' my girlfriend would probably not like that'. Everyone at work was surprised he had a girlfriend, even his closest colleagues didn't know about her.My boyfriend, on the other hand, lived literally on the other side of the globe. I loved him, but after 6 months of not seeing him it became hard to remember him. My colleague and I worked together for a couple of weeks and grew closer. He'd ask me about my life in detail, and remembered everything. Also he'd stroke my head, or my hair when he walked away. Or if we were sitting together at a table with other people, he'd put his foot on mine. He'd tell me I was cute. Once, he waited for an hour, just to walk me to my car outside in the parking lot.Other colleauges would ask me why I didnt consider him as my boyfriend instead of the long distance one. One time we had a nightshift together and I ran into him in the hospital, in a hurry. Somehow we ended up holding eachother by the waist and he said in a low voice 'Did you sleep well?'. It was one of the sexiest moments ever but I had to run so i just averted my eyes and ran off. After that, in the presence of someone else, I casually alluded to it and he said: 'It was like i was dreaming.'I didnt see him that much afterwards, but he was always in the back of my head.My boyfriend and i have since broken up.Last week I ran into my colleague again and we caught up (only for a short while because other people joined). Apparently he will be staying at my company for a couple more years to come. I really, really like him and I'd love to go out with him. I know he likes me. But I think he s still together with his girlfriend (not entirely sure). We just dont get the chance to talk without other people eavesdropping.Should i somehow take the risk of making it very clear that I like him? After finding out if hes still together with her? Am I imaging that he likes me? Ive been thinking about him for 1.5 years now and I would just love to end up in his arms.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2009): He likes you... by the sounds of it, A LOT.
You should suggest a movie and ask if he'd like to go with you to see it, just catch up for a while. Then when you feel closer again, why don't you casually say something about you and your boyfriend breaking up and then ask whether he's still with the girl. It could also have been a ploy to get out of this set-up.
Hope this helps.
=3
A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity  +, writes (16 June 2009):
 I am really glad you are one of those cases that
A) broke up with your boyfriend while this was happening
B) haven't done anything too terrible against his girlfriend such as cheating.
Listen. If this guy is willing to do all these things and still stay in a relationship, you have to question his morals. I know you really like him in many ways, but you got to listen to your head sometimes. Not just your 'heart', or the crotch area. haha. If this guy is willing to mess around while still in a relationship, is that the type of attention you want? Is that the type of guy you want? Because I garuntee if he is willing to do that with her, then he will probably pull the same stuff while with you. If a guy really wants a girl for more than a quick fling, he leaves who he is with at the moment and pursues the new girl. He hasn't done that yet I'm assuming. I would just straight out ask him if he is still with someone, and what his intentions are with you. It might seem amazing to just go with things without clarifying, but I guarantee you in the long run, you're regret any form of cheating. It happens every time.
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A
male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (16 June 2009):
 Get things out in the open. You will never know one way or the other if he intends to connect with you or if he is just leading you on.
Though it seems cruel, some people will lead another on even if they have no intention of persuing a relationship because they get some sort of payoff. That is to say they get get the attention of the other, maybe compliments or smiles, etc.
However, it may never go any further.
But, if you you let him know where you stand and in turn find out where he stands with you, you can save yourself a long stretch of fruitless waiting and wondering. Doc
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