A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:is my coworker he hitting on me?I started working for a new real estate firm. This guy started about 2 months after I did. We agreed to help each other through the real estate business, ideas, motivation, etc.I actually moved desks to be closer to his since we decided to unofficially “team up”.We go on tour (to view properties listed in our office) every week together, he invites me to all these networking events and luncheons…so we both don’t have to go it alone. He calls me and we text each other a mix of personal/business matters.I’m married I love my husband but since I turned 30 I’ve been feeling sort of promiscuous. I have never cheated on my husband but I have been having sexual fantasies about other men. This guy not included in those fantasies.Recently I went out for drinks with 2 friends I was hooking up and he met up with us. Both of my friends said we were flirting like crazy. To me it was just our normal bantering and just being funny, silly, etc. Except for the fact that I admitted to him I love my husband but here lately I’ve wanted something different. He had a very surprised/shocked look on his face. So I went out of town and he sent me a text saying “I wish you were going on tour” then whenever I got back we had lunch. He'd also sent me a text earlier saying "Glad you are back" bc i went to Vegas for a few days. At lunch I asked him if he found his wedding ring yet….because well he told me he lost it. So he says “Listen I didn’t loose my wedding ring, we’re getting a divorce as soon as I close a few more deals”. I asked him if he had cheated on his wife and he gave me this look like ya duh!He was like I used to travel a lot so yes I’ve cheated on her and I just don’t want to be married anymore. He’s 44 and I’m 30. His wife thinks he’s having a midlife crisis.Part of me just thinks we’re flirty and he likes hanging around me bc I make him feel younger. My friend thinks that the fact that he told me he was getting a divorce after I openly admitted that I was feeling like I wanted to sleep with other people….my friend says the sequence of events are very suspicious. Since he’s told me about the divorce he started calling me more and texting more frequently mainly during business hours and we talk about work a lot. We live in the same neighborhood, attend the same gym and well we just have a lot of things in common. Soooo I dunno if he’s flirting or if he just enjoys my company and wants a friend to talk to about his divorce. He told me that they haven’t said anything to anyone about the divorce.I’m sorry this is so long…I just want to know is he flirting with me?Is this like “When Harry Met Sally” and the age old question Can Men and Woman Really Be Just Friends?! He’s totally not my type, I’m married, he’s still married but the more I get to know him the more I like him…I definitely wouldn’t want to screw up our friendship and hellooo he knows I’m married. But this is a man who’s cheated on his wife. Obviously he doesn’t really hold being married as sacred…Let me know your thoughts.
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cheated on my husband, co-worker, divorce, flirt, text, wedding Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGUESS WHAT?! He's gay! LOL hahahaaaa we're going to be very good friends. thanks for the responses.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (6 April 2009):
 I believe that he is flirting with you, with obvious intentions. I also believe you like that, and you flirt back.
I think that the decision you need to make here is whether you will continue with the flirting or not. I already said it, but I want to repeat myself here, just for the sake of clarity: that is for you to decide. Don't worry whether he holds marriage as sacred or whatever; think about what you will do about this flirting, his with you and yours with him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2009): The last answer to this question from Zarathustra was just downright mean spirited and predjudice of people who choose to work in certain professions. What does her job have anything to do with her question! I agree with his take on the obviously stupid question she asks but untrust worthy people come in all shapes, sizes, colors and walks of life. If you are an ass you are an ass... doesn't matter what you do.I think she already knows the answer and is looking for others to tell her yes, because she needs to feel good about herself. That's really sad.
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