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Is my boyfriend's threeseom wish common?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 February 2021) 5 Answers - (Newest, 1 March 2021)
A female Germany age 26-29, *aralu writes:

Hey,

my boyfriend told me that if I am the only girl he can sleep with in his lifetime he is the luckiest man on earth.

But like a month ago I asked him if he - like my other male friends - would agree on having a threesome, he said:

If you and I both were fine I would do it because I had this fantasy since I was a teenager.

Is that common? Now I know that he's the happiest man without it but he's still willing to sleep with another girl, together with me. Is that common?

Thank you SO much for reading.

Lara

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (1 March 2021):

Honeypie agony auntThe best advice we can all give you is to NOT entertain this any further. Tell him how YOU feel about it (if you want to only BE monogamous tell him, that way he doesn't start getting his "hopes up that you might want a walk on the "wild side").

Not all fantasies need to be realized. NOT at all.

It's OK to TALK fantasies. Just state CLEARLY that it is all talk.

And if he starts to push for this, well then you know that the fantasy is more important for him to try than being with you, and it would be time to pull the plug on the relationship.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom +, writes (28 February 2021):

kenny agony auntTime and time again posts come onto DC asking if trying a threesome is a good idea.

The answers that they receive are always that same, and that it is a bad idea.

Some people have written in saying they have already tried it, and that they are developing feelings for the person they are having the threesome with, feelings that are stronger than their partner.

Invariably three some's cause unnecessary complications within a relationship, and often lead to break up.

Do i think that bringing a third party into your relationship is a good idea?. No.

If you want to keep your boyfriend, and see a future with him i would most certainly not go ahead with this idea.

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A female reader, laralu Germany +, writes (27 February 2021):

laralu is verified as being by the original poster of the question

That's absolutely an awesome answer thank you!

well he was kind of telling me: YES, trying it once is a wish I have. I actually want to have one once. That's what he meant when he said he had this fantasy since a teenager.

But only if you and I would mutually agree.

Do you think that means he would do it FOR me?

I am so glad for the other points. E.g the one with why say one thing but also the other.

Maybe it's that not all wishes have to be reality.

Thank you!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2021):

As a male i believe it is very real to grow this fantasy through the internet and especially porn. It takes no less than a few seconds on any pornographic website to see a threesome and they are very popular.

with maturing and or a reality check this fantasy goes away quite quickly but by the nature of the internet and the world now it is not unlikely to come across

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (27 February 2021):

Honeypie agony auntI think his answer was, HE would DO it FOR you. And ONLY if this was something YOU wanted. But that he wouldn't deny wanting to try it.

I think a LOT of people have this notion that a 3-some is super hot. It's fantasy. Reality is probably a lot less hot.

Does it mean he WANTS to have one? I don't think so. And if I were you, I'd let him know that you have absolutely no inclination to try one. That way he knows where he stands.

But I see the question is why does he say one thing then say another when asked about the 3-some. I think he is being honest. That he is happy with you. That he would do this with you IF you wanted it.

Just wanted to add, that most people on DC asking about adding a person or having added a person (or more) have had MAJOR regrets and that their relationship is no longer the same.

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