A
female
age
30-35,
*eljenkins
writes:Hi, I was with my exboyfriend around 10 months. In this time we broke up 3 times. Firstly he broke up with me after 4 months because I couldn't go to the cinema (i have a one year old and my parents couldn't baby sit) but I could on the thursday but he just broke it off. This lasted 2 days. He ignored me for one of those day the next I went to collect my stuff I said how we could be going to the cinema right now (as it was thursday) He said well lets go and I said but we're not together anyway he kept persisting in the end I gave in he kissed me and we got back together and went to the cinema. Everything was fine until the end of october. He was a little obsessed with work and used to have a weekend job mowing roadside verges. One weekend I got annoyed tried to talk about him working so much. Never raised my voice but he said i was being a nag ignored me for 2 days so i ended it with him. Instantly i regretted it I just wanted to know he couldn't push me around. I kept trying to contact him and he eventually started replying 6 days later. The next night I went round to give him his key back before i was going out with my friend, i asked if we could get back togwther and he said no, i said i had to leave and he said he's drive me to my friends house, i'd only been gone an hour when i got a text saying don't get too drunk then 10 minutes later another saying you've still got my key so if you want to stay come here. I got stupidly drunk and kissed another boy which made me to to my ex's I told him and he kissed me said it was ok and hugged me all night where the next day we were back together he even bought me flowers. We were fine again until last tuesday when we went to look at a house together, I loved the house but it was really far away for me to walk with my son to my mums to then go to work (well over a mile)so i went to talk to my mum for advice she said it was my decision but she thought we hadn't been together long and the house was too far and i had to think how bad it would be to walk if it was raining. My boyfriend rang saying he'd put the money on the house I kept asking why he wouldn't wait till i was done talking. We exchanged a few texts where he was saying he'd move in the house alone. I said my parents couldn't afford me to move out yet they thought i'd be going in may time, i did this because i sensed he'd break up with me and thought saying this would help stop him, but he did it anyway saying he realised he doesn't want to carry on seeing me cos i will always need my mums permission and he said good luck finding someone who will do what i did for you both, i treated your son like my own. I said i didn't think i wanted to be with someone so controllingI ignored him from the tuesday night till saturday morning when i sent him a long email explaining how i felt and how we only looked at one house so what was the rush, he ignored it, he went out saturday night with one of his friends and i asked on sunday if he got with anyone else he ignored that too then changed his profile picture from the one of me and him and added a girl who has a boyfriend. I then text him this morning saying i'm guessing you did, and how i still have some of his clothes I can get them back to him or i can chuck them away and still got no reply. Every time we fight he ignores me or breaks up with me and i always end up grovelling but he's never ignored me for this long, yet he broke up with me pretty much out of the blue because i didn't go for the first house we saw. Is he just trying to punish me so i do what he wants.He is very insecure he always needed reassuring. Its been nearly a week and i'm feeling so hurt and confused as to why he wants to hurt me this much
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broke up, drunk, flowers, got back together, has a boyfriend, insecure, money, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Nik9  +, writes (12 February 2013):
iAmHereToHelpYou said everything that needed to be said and more, but I'd still like to add my bit:This man sounds like he is controlling and thus abusive. Breaking up with someone because they can't go to the movies is absolutely ridiculous and childish. You really need to stay away from him and especially need to keep your child away from him. Ignore all his calls, texts, emails, etc. from now on.I suggest you don't date for a year (unless you just happen to meet a good guy, but please don't go looking for another man). When you do find a man you like and start dating again keep him away from your child until after you've been with him (with no silly break ups and make ups) for a whole year or longer. Right now you need to pick up the pieces of your heart. Mend the wounds and take time to get to know yourself better. Learn from your mistakes and grow into a stronger person for your child. He/she should be the most important person in the world to you and you need to focus on his/her life right now. Be a smart, happy mommy for him/her. If you decide to continue dating this lunatic, then you are doing a great disservice to your child. This man is potentially dangerous and you really don't need to be preoccupied with some psycho man you think you love. PLEASE heed our advice! Good luck!
A
female
reader, meljenkins +, writes (11 February 2013):
meljenkins is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe was the first and only boyfriend I had with my son and im not planning on anymore. I've never had a "relationship" like this before.
I'm not planning on going near him I just wanted to know why he uses ignoring me or breaking up as a way to get me to do what he wants.
He picked on me in a vulnerable state and has used that to his advantage and thought because I was a young mum I needed him more than he needed me and would be so greatful I'd do whatever he wanted and stupidly I did. He also picked on people weaker than him at his job or his friends. I also know his last relationship was like this. Its obviously set in his ways
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A
female
reader, meljenkins +, writes (11 February 2013):
meljenkins is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you. You are completely right.
To be honest no I didnt want to move yet, we were just looking but he seemed in such a rush and wanted the first house, he'd been trying to get me to live with him after 3 months but I kept saying no.
He has a lot of issues, he also wants a house keeper not a girlfriend. Not saying I'm perfect though
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