A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay I want an HONEST answer from the guys here.I have small breasts, like B cup or so. There is enough there for a bit more than a handful, and I can make them look bigger with a push up bra but I hate to do that because I am aware that I am kinda faking it.My measurements are approximately 34 inch chest-26 inch waist-42 inch butt.Sooo... yeah... I am quite disproportioned I think. I carry all of my weight in my ass. I am about 5'7" for the record.Now my boyfriend says he loves a big butt, and he does go crazy over my ass, and there's not much I can do about my butt anyway, no matter how much weight I lose it seems to just stay the same. But I worry that my breasts are too small. He goes crazy over them too, just looking at my cleavage can get him hard, but I know that I don't have the impressive shape under clothes that other women can achieve. Don't get me wrong, my boyfriend has never complained, he's never expressed disappointment with my breast size, but I just.... feel really like less of a woman. I am very conscious of my small chest. I wish I could fill out a top without needing a push up bra. So I'm thinking (and have been thinking for several years...) about getting my boobs done. As in, implants.Whenever I tell my boyfriend I want to get my boobs done, he says no, that he would dump me if I did it because he doesn't like big breasts, he likes smaller breasts. At least that's what he says.So, gentlemen: what are the chances that my boyfriend is being honest with me? I mean I figure he's probably just saying it to spare my feelings, but sometimes he gets pretty angry at me for even suggesting it. What are the odds that he's telling the truth? Is it likely that he's lying to me to spare how I feel? If I actually got them done, do you think he would be happy, even if he's been acting upset when I suggest it? I'd really like the most HONEST answers possible! Whenever I suggest to him that he'd secretly like me better with bigger breasts he says I'm being ridiculous! But men don't prefer smaller breasts. I feel very self conscious about it and I'm fed up of feeling inadequate and childlike.
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male
reader, Markingbad  +, writes (24 October 2009):
 I dont even like porn if they are false.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2009): wow tisha. What an amazing post. All the things that i feel and couldnt have close to expressing. I too am finally able to find beauty in my flawed body. When i was first married and 5'9" with a 21" waist, size 4...and 113 lbs. i was embarrassed to undress with the light on. Now a size 12~14...im not. Go for it if you must, but you seriously need to search your heart for why you are unhappy with yourself. Good luck sweetie.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2009): http://www.center4research.org/implantfacts.html
The above article has some sobering statistics about breast implants, I would take a read if I were you.
If you are honest with yourself the reason you want implants is to compete with other women. You feel that you are not enough to hold onto a man.
Well, guess what, you can't hold onto a man in the first place, he has to make a conscious decision to be committed to you. That is what real love is, it isn't feelings which are based on fleeting and changing emotions.
Above all it is a decision to be a person worthy of love and put the needs of your partner above your own.
Love is action, it is a verb not a noun.
So if you want implants so you look better in clothes so you can impress other women, if you live in Hollywood or plastic land or Florida where you wear a bathing suit 300 days out of the year, then maybe it makes more sense to want these fake things.
Funny, I know a lot of women with naturally big breasts that want them reduced, excercise is painful, swimming is inconvenient, their backs hurt and they are sick of having permanent indentations in their shoulders from bra straps.
Breast implants make it difficult to get mammagrams let alone detect most breast cancer tumors....so this is not a "healthy" choice but a totally elective surgery.
Yeah, it is difficult in this era for regular women to feel beautiful, what with the unrealistic and photo shopped images of women we see in print ads and in movies etc. That isn't real either.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (23 October 2009):
 Do you take care of your hair? As in wash it, style it, get it cut, wear it up? Isn't that kinda faking it? Do you ever wear foundation or mascara? Wouldn't that be faking it too?
Has it ever dawned on you that some of these boobs you're jealous of are being pushed up and pushed out by that very bra you think is supporting fakiness? (Ooooh, I'm losing the battle with the English language today.)
And let me say this: getting implants is totally faking it. Nothing real about those. At least those push up bras with the real stuff in them have real stuff in them!
I can't tell you what every single guy thinks. The only one whose opinion I care about is my husband's. Why wouldn't you give your boyfriend the same courtesy? And more than value his opinion, trust him?
You have a body issue that getting implants may or may not help. But don't put the onus of this on your boyfriend or what you imagine men want. A good plastic surgeon won't touch you right now because your rationale for getting implants isn't healthy.
Let me go off on a little rant here. Look, I'm nearly 50. Five-oh. And it's taken me this long to embrace my body in all its glorious flawed imperfection. It's a stunning thing, a human body. So many shapes, sizes, colors, heights, textures. Hairy and hairless. The very best kind of body is a healthy one, my dear.
Someone close to me had to have both breasts removed a year ago. Yep, breast cancer. Let me tell you, this woman would take back her imperfect little As in a heartbeat, if they hadn't had cancer in them. She has implants now. They look fine, in clothes, and will look better when they get the nipple reconstruction. She has Frankenstein-like scars where the nipples used to be. I'm delighted she has implants, because, well, because she's here. She's alive. She has a husband who has supported her through all this and while it hasn't been easy, do you think for one second that he'd rather she had implants? Or her natural, smaller than yours, breasts? You guessed it! Natural wins!
Yes, you have a pear shape, so do some insanely sexy women out there. They are adored by their men, and just the way they are.
I have varicose veins, saggy boobs, wrinkles, a few small scars, a too-large middle, HUGE calves, good leg muscles otherwise, a bit too much of the arm-flappy upper arms, tiny hands. I grow hair out of places I'd rather not. I deal with it. I LOVE my body. I wish I had loved it when I was your age. I could only see the imperfections then too. All that time, beating myself up for not having the perfect body, all wasted. Wasted energy, dredging up negative feelings, making myself feel bad for no reason. Why? Who know? Insecurity? Societal pressure? Ridiculous expectations set by whom? Does it matter? I thought I was flawed. Guess what. I AM flawed. Every damn human on this planet is flawed. And every damn human on this planet is a miracle of perfection and rich in potential. Even the ones with tiny boobs.
My advice to you is to get into a yoga class, a really good one with a proper yoga teacher, not an aerobics instructor picking up some classes on the side. (Sorry, aerobics instructors, not trying to be rude.) There, you will get to know your body, and learn to study it without judging. Yoga also helps center you in a way that I'm finding particularly self-empowering. Maybe it's yoga, or peri-menopause has me in the "I don't give a *&*&^ what other people think" phase of my life. Who knows? Who cares?
Life is beautiful. It is also hard, nasty, brutish and too short. You choose what you're going to focus on. I pick beautiful.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (23 October 2009):
 As a guy who has has a girlfriend with a boob job, I can tell you I really don't like them and would never want my partner to get one. I'd also think seriously about having a relationship with someone who has had one.
So, at least to me, your boyfriend's reaction is very understandable and reasonable.
Fake tits are terrible frankly. They feel bad and when I see them I tend to read them as a sign of insecurity, which is not attractive. Don't go there.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2009):
You are right- in *general* men dont prefer small breasts given the options. Its probably 90%/10%.
But that is not to say he want you to undergo some painful, bloody operation. Or have people think your are a vapid ditz.
Or maybe he just doesnt like the idea of fake tits.
I'd recommend you try to nipple jewelry to spice up what you have.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2009): He's being honest. Seriously. You say he's never complained, never expressed disappointment, that he "goes crazy over your cleavage," and that he said he'd dump you if you did end up getting them done. What more proof do you need?
On top of all that, you said you're a B-cup and a little more than a handful - that's already right in the "perfect" range in my books (and your boyfriend's books too, evidently).
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2009): Your boyfriend goes crazy over your boobs- quoting you, Thus obviously he doesn't want you to get a boob job! He finds them a turn on the way they are, get a grip
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female
reader, kinks +, writes (23 October 2009):
 Firstly I know you have asked for the male opinion, but I thought you would like to know how another female in the same predicament. I am a 29yr pear shape female who carries all her weight on her bum and very little on her bust. I have recently went to my GP for advice on breast enlargements because I am so self conscious about my barely there 'B's. My partner of 6 years says he doesn't mind if I have the operation or not it wont make him love me any more or any less. He says that me not having boobs doesn't bother him at all but if it makes me feel better about myself then go ahead.I think you should do what you feel is right for you, if he really loves you he would be there no matter what.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2009): Dont get your boobs done to please someone who is telling you he doesnt even want it that way. In fact don't do it for someone else at all. If you do it, do it for yourself. There are pros and cons to doing it and not doing it. That's something that you will have to decide for yourself. But if you decide to do it, I hope you can do it with your BF's blessing even if he wouldnt choose for you to do it. Either way, please don't harbor resentment against your BF for this issue just because "most men like bigger boobs." It's not very fair to him if you hold him responsible for the pressure that is created by what "most men" think. If hes not pressuring or encouraging you to do this (sounds like he isn't), and he's also never criticizing you for your natural boob situation, then that's the best he can do. He can't change the whole culture himself.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2009): Hes being honest. See Men like Boobs. Thats it, you can be A cup to whatever but if they are attached to a woman we are interested in they are always the right size. You have got a good guy there. He likes you for who you are.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2009): 'men don't prefer smaller breasts'. Oh yeah? Who says so? You're wrong about that. You're generalising. Some like big, some like small, some like in-between and the rest simply like. In any case, a 'B' cup isn't small. AA is small, but no less beautiful to the man that prefers small. Ok, so you're pear-shaped, but I bet he loves a handful of your butt now and then.He's being totally honest, and you're being totally insecure about the whole thing. Just ask yourself which is more important to you - what he's got between his legs or what he's got between his ears. The same applies to you, your boobs or your personality and brains.If you want dumping, go ahead and get it done. I think in all probability he's being 100% honest about that too.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2009): I get the feeling you're going to go through with it no matter what. Your bf is telling you in no uncertain terms he doesn't want you to and presumably it's him you want to please. So if you're still not convinced I don't know what we can tell you.I'll just say I'm deeply, deeply saddened whenever I hear a woman choosing to do this because she feels her natural breasts are inadequate. You probably have absolutely, perfectly lovely breasts. Yes men like big ones, but that doesn't mean they don't like smaller ones too. And if you care about someone it doesn't matter how big they are. The best pair of breasts are the ones you can get your hands on! Look at it this way, women may like the idea of a big penis but if she's with someone she cares about is it going to make a tiny bit of difference if he's not?And it's true some men prefer them small. Personally I think any size is great as long as they're natural. Fake boobs are just silly to me. The surgery can't make them larger it just makes them fuller. Tits are sexy because they're soft and they bounce and jiggle. Fake one's aren't like that.If it makes a woman feel more confident, and it's the only thing that will make you feel good about yourself then fine. But personally I think it's very sad.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2009): You sound very insecure.You know, men like a natural woman more than one that builds herself up artificially to please a perception than she alone holds. I think men appreciate your mind more than bigger bosoms so engage imaginatively with your BF to stir up the passions with your mental creativity to enhance yourself and your relationship.If you do enhance your appearance your bf will think less of you because you have not addressed the real issue of your insecurities which are propelling this pursuit in the first place.
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