A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi there. Looking for some advice over my current relationship as I have a bad feeling about something but need to know if I am overthinking.So, me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years and own a house together. We moved to a new area when we bought our house a couple months ago and as we moved my boyfriend joined a new gym. At this gym he made friends with this guy, I’ll call him ‘Greg’. Now Greg and my boyfriend spend loads of time together. They go to the same boxing class at the gym 3 times a week. My boyfriend has spent 2 separate Saturdays in the last month with Greg, one time walking Greg’s dogs and sitting in the park and then today he went to Greg’s house where they watched TV and ordered pizza. My boyfriend texts Greg all the time (although whenever I sit next to my boyfriend he won’t open his messages to Greg but I’ve never seen anything that sounds weird or flirty etc) and when he’s at home he often plays his Xbox with Greg in the evening together where they talk for hours. He talks about Greg all the time. And he recently told me that Greg is gay. My boyfriend has never really discussed his sexuality with me but I always assumed he was straight because he was with me, a woman, but now I am wondering if he is bisexual. I’m also wondering if he’s actually into Greg - maybe they haven’t done anything yet but it’s moving that way as they spend more time together. I know that Greg being gay doesn’t automatically mean he likes my boyfriend but I’m worried because they are always in constant communication and spend so much time together - like if you were just getting to know someone in the early stages of dating.I’m really worried that something is going on or is about to go on under my nose and my boyfriend is using the fact that Greg is a guy to try and hide it. Or I’m worried that maybe my boyfriend hasn’t realised yet that his behaviour seems more than just platonic friendship with Greg and maybe bringing this up to him might cause him to have some doubts over his sexuality.I guess my question is what do I do here? Does my boyfriends behaviour actually seem weird? And if so, how can I stop him from doing something stupid? Can I? Or is it inevitable? Help me!!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2020): I think your boyfriend has found that bromance that a lot of guys look for whether they admit it or not. He has a workout partner, gamer, and bro to hang out with. Greg is someone that just happens to be gay and you should not allow yourself to get all worked up and start accusing your boyfriend of cheating on you now or heading in that direction.I'm probably going to take heat for this, but do you work out or play video games with your boyfriend? If not, get involved if you are feeling left out. You said you guys just moved to the area, so he is probably ecstatic that he met a friend so quickly that he has something in common with. You said when you are with him, he won't answer Greg's text messages. I like to look on the positive side of things. Maybe he knows he isn't spending a lot of time with you, so when he does, he's making sure it's quality time.If you do choose to speak with him about it, don't make any accusatory statements about he and Greg. Just let him know that you want him to spend more time with you and that it sometimes makes you jealous that Greg occupies much of his time. Something along those lines.Well good luck to you, even though I don't think there is anything to be worried about.
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