A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 4 years. We met in high school, and now we're both in college. We've had trust issues because we both have made mistakes in the past. However, our love for each other is so strong that we are inseparable. He's my best friend and we have a very close relationship. We've had breaks many times before. However, this time I don't know if he's breaking up with me or really just asking for space. He said that he needs space. I then told him that if we're not together that I would move on (just to test him), and he said "you're talking about moving on, i'm talking about space because I need time to develop independently." I said that I didnt know what to do and he said "there are other ways you can handle this - meet new people, get involved in new relationships. I'm fine by myself for now, but rationally you should move on." What does he mean? That I'm probably going to date other people right away? He's a jealous type and always thinks I'm looking at other guys. I then asked if it was over for good and he said, "how do i determine that. i don't control what happens next" The more confusing thing is that he asked if I was still going to pray for him because we always pray for each other for exams and tests. and he said "you're not even gona pray anymore because you're mad" and he keeps telling me to stop asking him about what will happen in the future. is he trying to break up for good without hurting my feelings? Is he keeping me around to be safe. Or does he really need space. He still talks to me... and that is why I'm so confused. I do remember the last time that he said we should take a break... he said he wanted to see if he could be okay on his own without depending on me. but he took it back the next day. Please help me. I appreciate everyone's advice.
View related questions:
a break, best friend, jealous, move on, needs space Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Coolguy  +, writes (10 November 2009):
I think he is telling you to move on. He knows that you love him and will keep running back to him. That is why he is behaving this way. If he is madly in love with you, he wont be asking you to give him space. He will want to be with you all the time. As he has advised, you need to start making new friends and building new relationships. When he knows that you have other options to keep you busy, you will be more attractive to him. You can still keep the communication lines open but focus on getting to know other people. It's not easy when you are in love with someone who wants some space. He wants this so that he can see if he really loves you or not. But there's nothing you can do. Trying to press for more time with him will make him want to get farther and farther away from you. Ignore him for about a month and you'll see a difference. People want what they cant have.He may want to experiment with other ladies to see if he feels better without you or not. However he still wants you to be around so that if things dont work out he can still come back to you. so, the onus lies on you to also go out with other new friends as well and pray. If it's God's will, he'll come back to you. If he does come back to you, you should let him know that he has to make up his mind about what he wants or else you go for someone who really loves you. Who knows? You may even find someone who really loves you for who you are. As of now, it appears he is not really sure.
|
