A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am confused as to what to do with my boyfriend. He genuinelly acts like he cares about me and that he loves me. He says that every one is always saying that they love someone but they don't mean it, but when he says it he means it. He is married, but not happily, he sleeps in the recliner in the living room (I know this cause the bed isn't big enough for the two of them). He has a very shady background, and money "used" to be very important to him. We have been together for about 8 or 9 months now, but now he is ready to move out of the house, away from his wife, he says they are getting a divorce and it is 2 months in process...but he doesn't have a lawyer. The house is up for sale, but it seems that they keep turning down everyone that wants to buy it. I think his wife may be in on it. He comes over and stays the night with me and she complains to him about it, but he still stays over here. I've met his kids. Thing is is I am getting my income tax back here soon....I am getting my income tax back at my P.O. Box and he can get into it. He doesn't know the combination, but he does know how to get into it. (He can get into any safe). I've had money come up missing, but he says it's my son....but my son has been acting out here lately. I love him very much and I think he really does love me, but because of his shady past I think he may have learned how to lie really well...someone please help!!
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female
reader, Susan Strict  +, writes (30 April 2008):
 I would be very, very nervous about him and his motives.
He's been through the mill - by which I mean he is equally at home on either side of the law and is undoubtedly experienced at manipulating people. Just his phrases that you quote should tell you it makes little difference whether or not he is honest - you say he says he is "going on jobs". You don't think that means he is going to do an honest day's work labouring or something, do you?
None of that means he doesn't love you, and yet all the indications are that there is something to his motives other than love. You can see it yourself. I really don't need to point it out. All you have to do is to go back through what you have written.
I know that "bad boys" can be ever so attractive and exciting, but it's far less exciting if and when you find yourself as a victim of his badness.
Take care. And be very careful.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2008): Well, you may be confused about what to do about your boyfriend, but it will be perfectly obvious to anyone else. Drop him, and quick - he has loser written all over him. He will not get divorced, at least not anytime soon. Have a look at the articles on this link; perhaps they will hit home for you:
http://www.dearcupid.org/people/ask_oldersister
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2008): You should have your tax money direct deposited. How does he even know the date that your tax money is going to your PO box? I highly doubt that if someone working at the post office sees him trying to pick the lock that they will allow him to do it. Seriously, he sounds like a theif and him and his wife both sound like shady people. I'd suggest you find someone else that is not a liar and a theif. It's a bad sign that you're not meant for one another when you fear he will rob you!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAdditionally, he is always concerned about my medications. I am out of a job right now and he gives me money and\or gas when I need it. There is a job site that I got started with on the internet that I never should have got started with, I told them last month (no later than a week after I started to cancel it and it wasn't) so now he is trying to get my money back for that, he is genuinelly upset about that as well. He is always saying how his "wife" is taking money from him, but he won't leave. He says he is and I really keep hoping so. He says he is going on jobs and he is going to make some money and send the money to my account. His wife knows how to sign his name and I have written them checks when I couldn't get a check cashed I'd write them a check if it was in a larger amount so that his wife wouldn't complain about him giving me money. If she has my checks she can learn to forge my name as well, and he has my social security number.
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