A
female
age
36-40,
*issyt03
writes:Okay so here is the deal. Growing up I lived in a tiny isolated town. It's in the mid-west so it isn't pretty or thriving and is really small with only like 1000 people. Recently my grandmother passed away and my parents own the house that she lived in. My father has been pushing the idea of me moving back, and almost cried the other night when he was telling me how much he had enjoyed seeing me. My father is not an emotional man in any way so this really kind of scared me.I hate my job. It's a male dominated work place with one other female whom I can't tolerate. I can't wait to have children (although I really can!!!) but she acts as if being a mother is the worst set back in life. She loves to drink and believes in free lovin' and it just irks me. Also my boss for some reason is terrified of women and after all this time still can't look me in the eye's or ask me a question. He will talk to the ass-man to come ask me and I am in no way intimidating at 4'11" and hometown shy. I have a boyfriend who I have lived with for three years and really love. I plan on marrying him but am just not ready. Last year we both made very dumb decisions. We knew what we were doing was wrong but we just pretended like no one would ever catch us. I luckily got off with just community service. He got a felony, and along with that bad credit from schooling that hasn't been enough to get him a job. He is a good man he just didn't have anyone that cared what he did. He took the wrong road to get attention. He has matured and is trying his hardest to make everything right it's just taking some work. I was with him when we pulled our giant stupid. It was something I pushed him to do and he took that fall for me. The idea of moving to a small town again really kind of excites me, and on the other hand scares me. We would have a house right on main street with a garage and yard for our dog. I would have my family support which would be awesome, and my boyfriend would finally have a support system as well. (his family life really really sucked and my family is amazingly welcoming)I would be right there for my younger siblings if they ever needed my help which would be amazing. We wouldn't have the opportunity to get into trouble, and would actually be able to spend time with each other every once in awhile. We also may be able to save up some money. There is nothing to spend it on in town and the area pays better than what we currently make.There are some things that scare me about moving to small town again too though. I know I could get a job right in town but I don't really want to work and live in such a small town. I would be willing to commute, and hopefully we could find a job for my bf, but it is a really small town. We could both commute but we only have one vehicle because the larger town we are in provided for that. I have gotten to be very homey and love to be at my tiny apartment decorating or baking but I don't know if I'm ready for having no options. I like cooking and try to cook at least 5 meals a week but sometimes it's just nice to order something. We wouldn't have that convenience. I like solitude, but in a small town your never really alone. We wouldn't be able to buy a mt. dew without everyone else knowing. My parents would be at the house on an almost daily basis as would my two siblings. I would also have to see people that I avoid. Like that x who slept with my best friend because my curfew was earlier than hers and she was skanky. I would also have to see people that are just back visiting and deal with them thinking that I couldn't make it in the real world. I guess my question is: Is moving back to a town where there is nothing to do a way to keep ourselves out of trouble? Can you really start over? Is moving to a small town a good idea if I can't even stand to see some of them out in public?
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male
reader, The13th_Floor  +, writes (3 March 2011):
I grew up in Las Vegas and had my fair share of troubles; I just never got caught, heh. Like you, I've recently contemplated the idea of moving away from this hellhole to start over with my wife and young child, but I already took the plunge; however, I didn't move to a small town with like 1k people, I moved to another country. The thing that worries me about your situation is, I have a shitload of stuff to do here whether single, married, kids ETC. Moving here was a redo for us as well, but you moving to a small town - You have to be weary of something.You said you'd have family support, yard, more money and everything else which is awesome, but you also said that you weren't ready to marry just yet. With that said, you have to be sure that living in a small town doesn't affect you and your man's ability to go out and have FUN. That's what a relationship needs, right? Yea, you like to cook, small place suits you, but wil you get bored of the town? More importantly, will you bored of your man because the only thing to do is line dance at the local tavern that's only known for it's kettle cooked chitlins? Dude, I'm just sayin! I understand you've gotten into some shit, but you are smart. Really smart. Your grammar is top notch. You can start over anywhere you want. I know your father wants you back, but what's up with his guilt trip, dude? Yea, he misses his daughter, I get that, but shit, you have your own life so him wanting you back shouldn't affect your decision. The whole family and sibling thing eventually gets old and fades once they get used to you, believe me. Let us know what you decide and please update, k?Good luck!
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