A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I am new to this, I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time a few nights ago but I couldn't get erect at all when I got near her Vagina but when we kissed I got hard, she gave me a blowjob and a handjob, but still couldn't get it up or even cum, but when I fingered her she said that it was the best she had, anyone got any advice or am I just overthinking it like I usually do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2011): I've actually been in the same situation, with a guy a little older (and sexually more experienced??) than you. On one hand, it made me feel like it was my fault, that it was my fault he couldn't get it up, but on the other hand it was kinda sorta sweet that he was that nervous.
He did compensate really well by using his hands, and I still feel he probably was the best partner I've ever had in that matter. So yes, I think you're over analyzing the situation. Just relax, take your time and just enjoy being close to each other. Give it some time.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all, I appreciate the time you have taken to write these and I will remember them :). and to fi_the_tree, the only thing that was driving me crazy was the fact that even though I was looking at her beautiful body when I was fingering her I could not for the life of me get erect, it was pretty hearbreaking :'(
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A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (2 March 2011):
Most guys have this problem when starting to have sex. It's obvious you were nervous and that's why you lost your erection. It could take you more that two more tries to do it. But don't stress over it because that would be counter productive. It's completely normal and your girlfriend is clearly understanding with you. Because she told you she enjoyed it anyway. And that is sweet. So relax, you are with a person who loves you and you don't have to perform to be judged.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (2 March 2011):
 Bear in mind that you only slept together a couple of nights ago. There is plenty of time for you 2 to explore each other and find out what you both enjoy. Porn puts soooooo much pressure on people nowadays, but it's never like that in real life.Take your time exploring each other. She says you're amazing when you finger her, watching her being pleasured in that way should be enough to drive you crazy, but you need to relax. Try not to over think everything, and it will come naturally as you grow more confident around each other. All the best!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2011): you probably are overthinking it but i remember my first time i had the exact same problem don't sweat it man you'll have a good time soon enough
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2011): I think you might be putting pressure on yourself man... or making it your goal to orgasm. Enjoy those small sensations and get in lots of foreplay. Good luck.
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