A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay I'm 15 and my brother is 17 his best mate is 18. 3 year differance. My brother and him have always been best mates and I have always got along with him, we always mess about and joke on.I have felt that I have realy liked him for over a year now but everytime I get over him the feelings always come back next time I see him. I want to know if he feels the same but I'm scared to tell him how I feel because I don't want anything to ever come between him and my brother.Sometimes I think be likes me in return because at a family party we were going to, he came along with my brother and he asked me to dance, and he has complimented my eyes an my teeth and said how mature I am, but that was when it was just me and him, when my brother returns he changes and acts as though he doesn't know me and chews me with my brother. Also I have recently told him he would of been invited to my party in December but he would not be able to go as he would in Leeds university, he told me would come home just for it an I felt very happy about this.I want to know if he does like me on return or is he just being friendly? And could anything happen between us or is he too scared of losing my brother? HELP
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2010): From your description, it seems he likes you for sure, but whether that is 'like' as in a friend way, or something more? - it could be either from the behaviour you describe.
Even if he likes you in a 'more than friends' way, he probably won't want to do anything about it at the moment for 3 reasons.
1) as others have said, he won't want to lose your brother's friendship over it.
2) he is going away to university - lots of important changes for him to deal with, and many people end current relationships at this point. Entering a new relationship just before you head off to freshers term is not what most people would want.
3) the age difference; even though you are likely a mature young lady, an 18 year old may be concerned about a 3 year gap which is a lot more than if you are both in your late teens/twenties, because he can do many things you aren't yet legally able to.
It's been a while since I was 15 :) but if I were you, I wouldn't say anything. I would just make sure to be your happy, friendly, best self that you can be when you are around him. Keep his friendship.
If what you think is a connection between you is really there, maybe in time it will blossom and be the big love you desire. I'm 30 and only 1 couple out of 100s of people I know are still together from high school. If you wait longer you have more chance of anything that does happening being less messy and more right.
In the meantime, don't put off going on dates with other boys in less complicated circumstances. Spending more time talking with guys etc will make you more confident to smoothly handle a date with this guy or some other Mr Right in your future ;)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the advice it's all been very helpful, but I know I should probably try to keep away but I can't help how I feel.
And someone please try to help me, I don't understand why he acts like one person with me but then another when my brother is around? And I don't know how to tell if he even likes me at all, even as a friend or if he is just acting the way he does because I'm his mates sister and he doesn't want me saying anything to my brother ?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (16 August 2010):
 I don't quite think it's wrong, but it will be a BIG mistake if you get involved. Consider how HE would feel when/if you guys broke up? How YOU would feel and last but not least... how your brother would feel...
Awkward!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2010): you're just 15. whats the hurry? its best you don't say anything cause if he acts the way he does when you're brother is around - he will probably say he doesn't want anything now. you'll be rejected. it'll be awkward cause he and your brother are friends and he'll be around. so best wait. maybe after a while when he's able to show his feelings even in front of your brother, he will ask you out.
till then just be the way you are now. and you don't want to seem eager.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the advice :) but if I was to talk to either him or my brother what would I have to say without letting either of them know that I realy like him?
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A
male
reader, Akir  +, writes (16 August 2010):
It would seem that he does like you, but may feel slightly shy about it as he does not act the same way with you when your brother is around. The best thing to do is to try and see if you can talk to your brothers friend without your brother being there, preferably without him knowing as well. This way there will be no interuptions or distractions for either of you and it should be easier for him to talk. Do keep in mind however that this can cause problems if you and your brothers friend were to have arguments, it could cause them to fall out. The best thing to do is to either talk to his friend about it or talk to your brother about it first, see what his feelings on the subject are, that's probably the best option, talk to your brother about it.
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