A
male
age
30-35,
*atinomusicus
writes:Hello readers, I hope you can all help me understand this mess. So I'm gay and I've been going on dates with guys, but well seems like I wasn't born to have a significant other. I don't think I'm that ugly as I get compliments a lot of times. oh "you have a cute face", "you're really cute, you have a cute smile"...blah blahSometimes I can't help it to not feel low. I mean, it just sucks seeing all your friends finding their significant other while you are just.... single. There are times I ask myself if I have high standards?!I'm Mexican (though I've been told I look somewhat Arabian), I usually go for white guys. I don't have anything against guys with darn skin ( I have a dark skin tone) but I just don't find that attractive. Sometimes I feel bad because some people take that as me being racist..which I'm not..I just have a preference ya know? Also to make things even worse (?) seems like monogamous relationships are non-existent in the gay community. Call me old fashioned, but I'm not into sharing my partner. Whats the point of being in a relationship, if you both are going to be having sex with other people? To me that's just being friends with benefits...Also people seem to not care about getting AIDS or HIV anymore. I once was talking to a guy, and since I know he likes to fool around I asked him if he wasn't afraid of contracting AIDS. And his response was " I know I'm gonna get it someday so I'm just preparing myself for that day". It really saddened me to hear him say that because he's a good looking guy with so much potential to have an amazing future. I never thought finding an special one would be so tough. I'm 21 years old, but I'm looking for a monogamous relationship. I'm not up for games, I want someone who has the goal to settle down in a couple of years, marry, have kids, a house, a puppy..just like a normal family. I know this "question" isn't really a question..I just want to idk hear your opinions in anything I mentioned here. Perhaps trying to understand why my community acts a certain way.
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aids , friend with benefits, hiv Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2013): You started your question by saying 'help me to understand this mess'.In my opinion you are not in a mess. You are someone who knows what he wants. It's great to hear a young guy say what you have said. Stick solidly to your expectations. Sure enough one day the right guy is going to come along. He will be lucky to have found someone who wants a relationship as you describe. In the meantime enjoy going out with friends. Think about where you will meet the guy you are looking for. It's less likely to be out on the 'scene' and more likely to be somewhere you go connected with an interst/hobby you have. Keep an eye out for him, you'll find him. Good luck.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 January 2013):
 I think it's an age thing.
My brother met his husband 15 years ago and he's 50 this year... before that he had maybe ONE serious relationship.
My son who is 26 (and straight just to show it goes to all sexual orientations) cannot find a serious GF despite being tall dark handsome, bright funny and employeed.
I think it really is an age thing more than anything.
BTW my brother in law has HIV and has for over 20 years.
My brother caught HEP C from borrowing a razor of all things... (yeah go figure)
My brother does NOT have HIV
My BIL does not have HEP C
and trust me this is NOT a celibate marriage.
Hang in there OP...
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