A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I want a baby. I'm 16, I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months and he's dying to be a father.I started college doing childcare because I thought I'd love working with children, but soon discovered that nursery work really was not for me so quit my course.I started working at a call centre soon after until September when I can start college again but it was really dodgy so quit and have a part time job now. I babysit every day and absolutely love children, I'm broody all the time and cannot wait to become a mum. I want to become a young mum and thought I'd wait till about 20 but me and my boyfriend have been talking and we both want a baby now. I am so ready for parenthood and know that I will love any baby of mine so much and will try my hardest to be a supportive, caring mum. I know the responsibilities of having a baby as I'm around young mothers all the time and children.I know 16 is a very young age to have a baby but my boyfriend is in a steady job, I have a part time job that I can easily do if I get pregnant. The baby would be well supported. I can't think of anything I want to do more than become a stay at home mum and girlfriend No course at college even comes close.Is it wrong to have a baby now when we're so ready?
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2009): i know exactly how you feel, i was 16 when i decided i wanted to be a mum
Im now 18, have a stable job, my own house & a partner i love to pieces.
When we got together we were both truthfull & said we wanted children but knew we hadnt been together long enough at that time to offer a child a stable home.
Since then we have moved in together, been on weekends away, had lovely meals together, days out, nights out & its been great. Im glad we have waited so long & had the opportunity to do all of these things.
because we are both wanting a child i have looked into everything, the cost (before the babys even born!), how much it would cost per week for food nappies clothes etc and its expensive!
But i think if its what you both want, you can afford to support yourselves and the baby (just because you have a child it doesnt mean you wont want anything...i know i'd seriousley have to cut back on my spending!) and have a home, supportive friends and family & are willing to give this baby absolutely everything u have then go for it.
I know i am :-)
A lot of people on here are going to tell you to wait, and maybe they are right, but maybe theyre not!
You and your partner are the only people who can make this decision.
good luck & keep me posted!
A
female
reader, myp  +, writes (31 March 2009):
 WHOA!.................ok
lets just go over this.
these are the things you need to support a child.
Rent
PG&E
Garbage Service
Phone Service
Diapers[expensve]
Healthcare[SUPER expensive}
Food
Childcare
Clothing
Do you have a car?[car note]
Time[do you have school, work, extracurriculars?]
Binkies
Bottles
Formula
Toys
Bibs
Crib
Bath
Diaper creams
Wipes
etc.etc.
The list goes on..............
Now if you're equipped with all these things a couple times over then you'll be prepared. That doesn't necessarily mean you'll be ready.
Now he needs to make at least $50,000 USD a year [my opinion] to support both of you and a child, especially if your only working part time. And when you get big you wont be able to work. You will have no time for your relationship because you'll only have time for the baby. I know what its like to raise kids.
And whats with you quitting school because you didnt like nursery work. Taking care of kids n a nursery is very similar to a real life situation. Having a kid is WORK!!!! its fun when you get to see them for a couple hours a day but it is greuling, hard, tiring, stressful, expensive work.
Now if you think you're ready and prepared for this challenge then you should do what you like but if you decide to make this choice be very aware of the circumstances and consequences.
Myesha
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A
female
reader, keepitreal03  +, writes (31 March 2009):
The baby will be well supported for how long? The first year?? U having a job now is nothing once u get 7 to 8 months pregnat u will stop working so u will be out of work for months after u have the baby? Who will watch ur child when u have school??? And work. Does he make over 15 dollars an hour to support both of u. Ur young don't make a mistake. Ur not ready pampers are 18 bucks a box that will last i 1 week clothes health care!!!! How can u afford this....ask ur self rent car note if u have a car.... There's no way. Just work on ur relationship be good to each other and wait til ur at least 25 and can give anything to ur child. Sports and cheer are expensive u wanna make sure they can do it all. So wait there's no rush.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2009): I don't think you have known each other long enough to voluntarily create a life.
It may well be that you would be great parents. But that isn't the point. You have other obligations that you should be taking care of first.
Get through school and start up on your career and begin earning money and create a stable enviroment to bring a child into. You don't have to, but it IS advisable to do so.
I think you are ready to have a sexual relationship by 16, but I don't think at 16 that you are ready to take on the responsibilities and sacrifices it takes to bring up a healthy, well-rounded child.
I'm not saying it cannot be done. It can and has been done over and over throughout history. And it will be done again.
But parenthood is not something that is best rushed into. And likewise it is not something that should be left too long, because once you hit 30, the chances of naturally conceiving lessen with each passing year.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2009): Tell me what does it mean to be a good mom to you? Your response will be anticipated. Also what life experience do you have to offer say an 8year old 18 year old...etc. The answers to these questions are key in a response to your question.
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A
female
reader, cinderz +, writes (31 March 2009):
 OMG girl please do not do this he won't love you more you will just end up with stretch marks and circles under your eyes and when he gets drinking age lookout you will be stuck at home with the baby while he feels free to sow his wild oats!Hunny i know because i lived it ....i ended up being with him even longer than i should have because we had a child together i eventually after being with this man for 17 years and are children were grown ended up divorcing him ....i gave up my prime body and youth because of that decision and it has been hell to live with!EIGHT MONTHS IS NOTHING and you could be really making a huge mistake !IF your relationship is so stable then it should stand the test of time go do things together live together but please dont make such a final decision your youth is a wonderful time that should never be hindered by the responsibility of a baby honest!i hope u will be smarter than myself
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2009): Get married. There is no reason that getting married should take a backseat to a pregnancy when you're deciding a pregnancy in advance. Money, committment, arranging a wedding, parental approval . . . whatever. Every single problem that a marriage causes will be caused WORSE by a baby. Every single one of them. So prove you can handle a baby and get married first.
I do not say this out of morality or religious reasoning. I say this because it's wiser to spend several years married & living together to REALLY find out whether or not the relationship is going to work with this guy. THEN get pregnant. I don't care what your individual story is, there is NO WAY you can know for sure what the long term relationship with this guy will be at 16.
Don't take this criticizm personally, but do take it seriously. It's just a matter of math and hormones. You may be 100% fully intelligent by 16, but you're still not fully developed in the brain's emotional areas until your early 20s. That's still years away for you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2009): I personally don't think you should have a baby i mean im the same age as you and though you may think your ready to have a kid you're not. You have a whole life ahead of you and so does he. I understand that you want to be a young mom but 16 is too young. Don't do it. At 16 you should be enjoying life. Heck you shouldn't even be having sex.
My advice is just wait. Don't screw up your life for teenage fantasies.
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