A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for 6 years. We have 5 boys (from different marriages). We love each other. Recently I met up with a past love and rekindled feelings, plus more. We know that I can't and don't want to divorce, but I really love this other man. He has no kids, never married, is in the Navy. We think that maybe someday down the road the time is right. Is it wrong for me to feel this way? I honestly LOVE both of them. I have a family-style life with my husband, youngest being 8 years old. We have fun with our boys; however, I have extreme love and romantic feelings for this past love. Is it wrong to feel that "someday" I will be with him?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2008): Your ex is giving you something that your husband is not: (1) someone to listen to you; (2) someone whom shows interest in you unconditionally; and, (3) someone whom allows you to feel that you're the most important thing in the world. Our feelings are just that - feelings until we choose to act upon them. However, if you continue to maintain contact with your ex you are allowing the relationship to get stronger and the relationship with your husband will continue to get weaker. Through this into the equation with the consideration of a relationship with your ex down the road - children and an ex-spouse to deal with! You will find that things are great at this time and you feel in love...but the reality is your ex is simply someone to escape reality with. Don't risk a lifetime of hope and happiness with your family unless you are truly unhappy with your spouse. Sometimes we make choices that end up being the wrong choice...the grass is not always as green as it appears on the other side of the road. "Been in your shoes".
A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (9 September 2008):
 "Rekindled feelings plus more"...what is the more part? Feelings are not wrong. Actions are. You're seeing this through rose colored glasses. If you have allowed yourself to love this other man, you're doing a disservice to your husband and family. Why are you destroying your marriage? What happens if you go with this other man and fall in love with another? There is always someone else you could fall i love with out there. What counts is what you build with your partner. You started building a life with your husband and now you're throwing it away. Why?
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A
female
reader, miss know it all  +, writes (9 September 2008):
not at all but do you really love your husband if you love your past love aswell? Its so important that you think about this very carefully because if you decide to throw away your marriage away for a past love then it could backfire because this past love could have changed in the time that you knew him and you have to think about the kids aswell because if you do this then it could affect them in the long run mentally. If you know in your heart that you will be with your past love one day then what are you doing with your husband all im asking is you think about the decision very carefully before acting on it. I hope this information gives you a rough idea of who you really do want to be with. Good luck
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