A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So this may be drawn out but I feel like I need to include as much info as I can. My ex and I are currently going through a divorce. We have been separated for 1.5 yr and were married 7 years. During our relationship we became close with an old college buddy of his and his wife(we will refer to them as couple #1). And through them we became acquaintances with another couple (couple #2). The husband of couple #2 also went to college with my ex and the husband in couple #1. So all the hubbys went to school together and the wives met through them. Although we never became real close with couple #2. Just acquaintances. Well since our separation my contact with everyone involved has dwindled a lot. I still talk to them on the internet here and there but don't hang out with them. Couple #2 also is going through a divorce (which started around the time my ex and I decided to separate 1.5ys ago). Somehow last night I was chatting with the guy from couple #2 online. We chatted for about 3 hours and found out we have a lot in common which we never knew before. Anyway we decided to meet up next week for drinks. I didn't think anything of it in the beginning but I haven't been able to stop thinking of it ever since. He and his wife are almost divorced as well. There are no real ties anymore between any of the couples. Is it wrong to pursue a close friendship with him or even more the potential of dating? I've always thought he was a good looking guy and found him to be funny and nice, but never thought more of him other than an acquaintance through friends. I do still chat with his ex wife here and there online as well. But by no means are any of us close anymore or seen each other in about 2 years. They also have 2 kids. I am caught in such a hard place. I don't want any bad blood between any of us but on the same token if none of us talk really anymore than does it matter? Is this wrong?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 May 2013):
 I don't think it's WRONG (not legally or morally) but it could be awkward.... these guys are friends from college.
I would consider meeting him for the drink and as friends see what's what.
IF you two think dating is in the cards for you, it may be in everyone's best interest for HIM to approach your EX and "clear it with him" since it's the GUYS that are friends....
A
female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (5 May 2013):
 HI
I don't think it's wrong persay BUT I wouldn't feel comfortable with it if it were me. At the end of the day it's a little close to home if you catch my drift. He may be havinf a divorce BUT I bet if his ex finds out s**t will hit the fan, there will be talk of " I bet they were cheating behind our backs" it can cause so much unwanted attention from many people.
I really wouldn't go there basically .
If after you are BOTH divorced and much late down the line you both STILL want to date eachother then go for it.
Mandy x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2013): You are not planning your wedding over drinks are you? Don't take this date too seriously. You have a certain amount of comfort with this guy. Enjoy yourself and at the very least you have a friendship that could last you a lifetime.
Cheers:)
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