A
female
age
30-35,
*lishamarie08
writes:Hey all. My question is a career military man with a young daughter a horrible idea? Ok here's the scenerior.... Let's call him brian. Well brian and I met on myspace and became friends he lives an hour away. We've known each other for about a year now. I really like him he's a great guy but he does have some baggage. He is seperated from his wife their in the process of divorce (been taking forever) and I don't want to meet him until he's totally single. Is it horrible to meet him when he's still technically married? And he will be going overseas again for the money. His parents will take care of his toddler. Is it a bad idea to want to be with him? We both like each other its very obvious! What should I do he's 5 years older with a kid. Is brian a good idea?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2009): Well I don't think you should count on that happening again. Most of our troops are being sent out to Afghanistan and Iraq..
I've never heard of a soldier being sent home for danger so i wouldn't make that part of your decision.
~Sy.
A
female
reader, alishamarie08 +, writes (28 June 2009):
alishamarie08 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe's army it would be a year but last time he deployed he went to georgia the country and got sent home because they were in too grave of danger
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2009): If you truely believe that the divorce is absolutely going to happen and he will not leave you at the end of it, then nothing can stop you from pursueing it. It sounds pretty postive since she cheated on him.
But the whole military aspect is a different story. Marines or Army or what? Marines deploy seven months army deploys twelve months.
~Sy.
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female
reader, alishamarie08 +, writes (28 June 2009):
alishamarie08 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionEven if there not living together and seperated. I mean he came clean about it. I know he hates his wife she cheated on him and had a kid from the other man and convinced brian its his. She's really screw with him and he said I'd rather burn in hell then get back with her. And yes all of this happen before we met!
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male
reader, mrincredible207 +, writes (28 June 2009):
No and yes. It depends on your patience. If you have the patience then "NO" if not then "YES". Divorce can be as long as the two of them allow it to be. Also he's going over seas which means you more than likely want to see him before he goes. Then what? It could be a very long time before you even meet a guy you really like and possibly care for.
I say go for it, but make sure its a date and not a fling because I personally know a girl in a similar situation and the guy never returned her emails or phone calls after a night cap!! Just go see him and if you're worried about his kid don't be that relationship will be something totally different all together!! Trust me on that one!
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2009): Well according to the seemingly unending posts here from heartbroken young women, i'd say it is definietely not a good idea to be with him until he is completely single. These women end up getting left in the dust because the divorce takes years and sometimes doesn't even happen. You could do a little searching on this site, but i'm sure you'll get excellent feedback.
5 years older is not a big deal at all.
And I am married into the military and I would love to sit and type about the many, many things to be aware of before committing yourself to it, but it would take a very long time and I am very hungry. So please feel free to PM and I will tell you all you need to know about being with a military man.
~Sy.
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female
reader, jadeybabe116  +, writes (28 June 2009):
Is Brian a good idea? I think you know in your gut that he is SO not. "Some baggage"? That's an understatement. Have you actually met this guy in person? Because from the sound of your story here, it sounds like you have a solely cyber thing going on and are looking to meet up physically. If this is the case, don't bother. If this guy's story is real, you better ask yourself if you can emotionally handle a wife, a kid, and overseas service. The answer is probably no. He could be a good man, but he has way too much going on right now and I doubt he's looking for true love at this point.
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