A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I started seeing this guy and we've been on two dates now. He's 40 and works for the county.We met on a dating app and he said he would go out for appetizers and drinks, so we met up at a local restaurant. After I came in and he said hello, he didn't really offer me any kind of menu or the drink menu. I say down and picked a drink. He then didn't ask me if I wanted to eat anything.After about 30 minutes of talking, the bar tender came and said that happy hour was almost over and that if we wanted to order anything to let her know. He then said..."No we're good.......actually, let's get the filet minion." I found it odd that he initially turned down food when he said we'd be eating appetizers. I also wondered why he didn't at least ask me what I preferred.He turned to me and then, "You'll pick the next one." Fast forward a week later, we are out at a restaurant again, and prior to that, he said we were going "out for dinner."When I got there, I opened the menu and he said, "You get to pick this time." and I was so confused and got kind of uncomfortable thinking, "I thought this guy wanted to have dinner, not share something." I just told him, "I'm going to get my own thing, are you doing to eat?" And he was like "Yeah!" What the heck did he mean? Was he trying to suggest we split a dish or an appetizer again?I'm so put off. Is this normal? I've been on my fair share of dates before, but haven't experienced something like that.Is he trying to not spend money?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2019): He's cheap and weird. Don't rack you brain!
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2019): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI ended up telling him that I’m going to get my own thing and asked him if he was going to order food as well. He ended up getting his own thing.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 October 2019):
 I would just tell him, I'm OK with going Dutch, you pick and pay for what you eat and drink, and I'll pick and pay for what I eat and drink.
It would eliminate this awkwardness around meals.
There could be so many reasons this happend.
1. you two didn't really communicate with each other, but PAST each other.
2. He is cheap.
3. He is broke.
4. He doesn't know how to treat a lady.
5. he is trying to not offend.
Overall, if you aren't SURE what he means. ASK him. And be prepared to pay for your own meal.
And lastly, it sounds odd, I have to agree, but you HAD the opportunity to ASK him as he was sitting right across from you! So who didn't you?!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (12 October 2019):
 But what happened next? Did he actually buy his own meal? Maybe he meant you should choose what he should eat too, or maybe share an appetizer again.
It was a bit rude of him to not ask you what you wanted the first time, but obviously he was an otherwise decent guy since you went out with him again. I wouldnt put too much into it. Could be he was just nervous.
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