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female
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*nna77
writes: Dear Cupid,I have been with my boyfriend for eight years.We have lived together for most of that time.Just recently we have started trying for a baby.This morning I went on the internet and checked the history. Up came loads and loads of porn sites which my boyfriend had been looking at after I had gone to bed. I know that he has looked at porn and although I don't like it I have never felt particulary theatened as we enjoy a good sex life.However what shocked me was the amount and also the content there was not just hetrosexual sex but gay sites and chat rooms too.I have spoke to him about this and he is very upset but says he is glad I have found out. He works from home and said he started looking at sites a few years ago as he was lonely. He says he has never cheated on me and I do believe him(am I stupid?)He has admited that there is something that turns him on about men but more ina fantasy way and that there is no way he would ever go with another man. He truely seems mortified and wants me to help him and trust him but I'm not what to do.I don't want to become paranoid and suspicious mainly because I am not like that.What should I do?PS I think I may be pregnant
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2007): well..i really don't feel comfortable about him looking at porn or any girls. its just resent that I feel this way. we lived together for 3 yrs now.so I got really close to him that even lil thing bout other girls really bothers me and he knows it but he never complains.
A
female
reader, ashleytorre +, writes (24 July 2006):
my fiance enjoys porn but i get so upset at him even thou he doesnt look at gay sites.. sometimes i feel scared when i 1st moved in with him he had a few porn movies and one day he was at work and i threw them out...he's mad at me because i threw them out..i guess its true when they say men will always love porn but its better for them to see it cause than you know that they arent cheatin if you let them watch it or look at websites..instead of them doing somthing wrose in your back ya know
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A
male
reader, happylife +, writes (3 July 2006):
All the answers here were great. Indeed, I would say that you should not be alarmed by your boyfriend’s addiction to porn. I once had a whole computer full of porn while I was single and I never even slept with or dated anyone during that time. This is simply to say that my addiction to porn at the time had nothing to do with a desire to be promiscuous, instead, it was just pure entertainment.
Also, don’t be shocked that he has a lot of porn in his computer. Most porn sites will automatically download hundreds of links into your computer that will give you endless access to porn. Therefore, your boyfriend may have only visited a few sites but unknowingly downloaded access to thousands of porn videos and pictures.
Take care
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (3 July 2006):
 This is a common issue. The looking at men bit is unusual, but i wouldn't worry about that unduly. It's quite normal for men to be turned on by other men yet not want to have sex with them. Women seem to like looking at other women too, after all...
Rather than repeat myself, please read what I wrote before:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-husband-dont-have-an-interest-in-sex.html
The main issue for you two is to decide whether he should stop or not. Either way, open and clear communication between you two, and him not hiding (nor feeling the need to hide) anything from you are very important. It sounds like you have already started down that road. Good luck
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A
female
reader, Tinkz  +, writes (3 July 2006):
 Well if you love him, and you sure that he is telling the truth then don't be concerned about it! Men will always love porn, whether soft or hard porn it's just how they are!
Don't become paranoid as this might scare him away! And if you think you pregnant tell him! if you haven't tested yourself there is nothing better than feeling that first joy of being pregnant with your partner!
But if you feel that his porn sites are really getting to you and you are pregnant, the stress affects your child, go for counselling! But take it one step at a time, Rome was not built in a Day
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2006): sounds like a bit of a shock - but you know sometimes porn is just entertainment. it's a silly waste of time when you should be working. i look at it sometimes and it doesn't mean i'm not satisfied with my boyfriend. it might be just that for him and nothing more. if all else seems well, if you are close and loving with each other, then perhaps you can relax.
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