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female
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*oucie
writes: I've been dating M since the 9th of May this year, Ive met him 10 times. His wife left him in Jan of this year.but he says there has been no sexual relations for two years between them. He rings and texts me reguarly, we have got closer to each other and passionate but not had sexual relations yet.Ive been used and hurt a few times since my husband and I separated last year, so I have little trust in men. I told M I want to go to Australia next year amd he said he would love to come with me and it would give him somthing to look forward to. then he suggested why don't we go somewhere cheaper and go this year, he has been to the Dominican R lots of times, so I said ok. I can only go in Oct as my children are on half term and my sister will look after them, im worried though as i have to find the money, it will probably cost about £400 for cheap deal, and I don't really know what his intentions are? His mother amd father are moving into his marital home with him, to help him pay the mortgage, he was a bit araid of telling me this in case I thought his intentions would never be that we move in together, so im a bit concerned there aswell. He said last year he booked a holiday for his wife upgraded it to give her the best amnd he was looking forward to just him and her spening time alone now their kids were grown up, and retiring early. well I have 4 children, ages, 20, 17, 12,10. I don't want to push him into moving in together at all but at the same time I don't want to still be a part time llover in two years time if thats all he wants. Shoul;d I just talk to him or just back off and not give in to sex. I just don't want to get hurt. Thankyou
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female
reader, Tinkz  +, writes (3 July 2006):
 His intention may be good but the only way you may find out is talking to him! Ask him all the questions that you need answers for. what does he hope to come out of the realtionship? What he wants from the realtionship?
How does he feel about your children? Remeber this isn't only about you! your children will either benefit or suffer from the decision you make! And there is nothing worse than getting attached to a man as a father figure and then having to lose that bond with him just because you made a choice based on yourself, believe me i've been there my mother made a that mistake and it uprooted me to the point where i was sent for clinicle counselling!
Always make sure that your children are thought of!
But if you think it is the right thing for you and your children go for it, we all deserve to be loved!
A
female
reader, Smiler +, writes (3 July 2006):
 Hey Sweetie
Well you do sound all confused and down, sit down take a deep breath we'll talk about this together ok :o) I'll try and help you through this, i understand that you have been hurt in the past cause man we've all been there and its hard to trust again sure it is but babe its true what they say that time is a great healer you will learn to trust again we all do so you have to try and build to that point where u can start to trust your new partner, but my honest opinion is you should sit down with this guy and tell him exactly how your feeling right now... cause you have been honest and up front with each other up to now so why should that change start as you mean to go on communication is vital to help a good relationship work, true love is all about the merging of 2 people into a single unit in which both decide the each others place in the relationship you know.. the mutual supportive nature of your love will be put before your own wants and needs, but this kind of love demands honesty, effective communication, mutual respect but if this is done properly it can be the most significant way of connecting with a person this sounds alot like the love you and your partner have but you are a little unsure with the trust thing but honey talk to him, you may well be very surprised by his reaction and begin to trust him :o) come on sweetie dip your toes in the water here take the chance its the only way you'll really know :O)
I hope my advice was of help to you in this situation :o) and good luck with it. If you ever need a friendly chat of shoulder to cry on or just more advice I'm always here for you
You Take Care X
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