A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my boyfriend for 6 months now. We work at same place and up until 2 days ago together. Because we are dating I was made to change areas. Before this we saw each other at work and maybe 2 nights a week. Which I was trying to get more time away from work with him, quality time. Now after being moved from work together. We do not send each other at all at work. I have asked him to guarantee me more time in evenings to make up for this and he wont. So is it wrong I want more time with him outside work? He gets stressed at work and loves to be alone as he had not dated the past 5-6 yrs due to a bad relationship. He asked me out after almost a yr of having a crush on me. I have tried be somewhat understanding but if you truly love someone I believe you would want to spend lots of time with them.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (28 October 2011):
 It's just been 2 days with this new arrangement where you do not work together. I think you should give it some time and fit into the new routine, at least try the new routine, before you complain about it. So you get to see him less, but you DO get to see him. It's not like he's vanished on you, it's just less than what you grew accustomed to.
Like CindyCare said, you got into a habit, but you can very quickly find yourself in a new habit, and be just as happy. Just because things are different now doesn't make them worse.
If you think you and him can have a future together, imagine how many months and years you have ahead of you. You'll get plenty to time with him. I actually recommend NOT spending too much time together at the beginning (as in every day or 5-6 days a week) because you can grow tired of each other pretty fast then. Better to keep the infatuation period pro-longed through not meeting too often, and get to know each other at a steady pace, and not rush into it. Then when you do meet make quality time out of it, do something you enjoy, enjoy each others company. Don't just meet to meet for the sake of meeting.
I think you just need some time and get used to this. Then in some months who knows, maybe he wants to meet up more often. I think if you're dealing with a man who moves slowly you got to respect his pace, otherwise he'll feel rushed and will jump ship. Go slow with him, and that way you will get to keep him for a lot longer.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 October 2011):
 Two nights a week? what about weekends?
I love my bf but he just moved in with me and now we get no down time alone from each other... it can be stressful for folks that need alone time to recharge...
I love him and want to be with him and want to help him and see him as often as possible but that still does not mean I want to be up in his face 24/7
If we did not live together I would want to see him on weekends and maybe one or two nights per week...
How much time are you wanting from this man?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (28 October 2011):
 Not necessarily so. Spending enough time together, yes , spending lots of time together - as in " every moment out of work ", definitely not. Some people will want that kind of closeness, some won't and this does not mean they don't love you or they are emotionally unavailable or playing games, it means they have invested their emotions and energy not only in their relationship but also in themselves.
Many people need and cherish their " me " time, to see friends, to cultivate personal interests, or just to unwind being lazy and doing nothing. I think this course of action is wise, you may think is selfish,... who knows, the important is that you can reach a compromise which won't feel like a major sacrifice to either one.
In your case, I'd say you can relax, it's not a given that two people can work together and see each other all day every day , in fact it's a rare exception. You don't actually need to see your bf every day all day, it's just a habit you got, and all habits can be unlearned. If you spend time together two nights a week, and, I suppose, you spend time together on weekends, you can't exactly complain that he is neglecting you , so if you feel this is not enough, well, of course you can tell him how always happy you are to see him so any extra time is welcome, ... but I would not insist on your " visitation times " , and I would focus more on the quality than the quantity.
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