A
male
age
30-35,
*kofan300
writes:Ok I just got into watching cartoon porn nothing like animals or tenticle types mainly just like girls from tv shows like avatar or american dad any way I have a friend who broke up because his girlfriend didn't like him looking at henti I'm starting to date a girl that wants me to be completely honest with her, but I think she might get kind of freaked out.Basically is it wrong for me to look at henti porn even if it's not, is it wrong for me to not tell her that I do watch this type of porn?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2013): Take it from someone who knows: stop watching it. Some may tell you it's harmless now, but if you're not careful you will find that you become addicted. That happened to me, and I am fighting the addiction. Like you, I've had confidence issues with women. But one day, you'll wake up and realize a lot of time has passed, and that is time you WON'T get back. This is a lonely path, and trust me, you don't want to go down it. Don't make the same mistake that I made. You'll hate yourself, get angry, and isolate yourself from everyone around you. Fantasies can be addicting, and I thought I could replace real relationships with a female with porn and masturbation (another addiction I have). I was wrong. Things will work out for you, and after a few days off the porn, you'll feel great and relaxed. Just give it time.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (24 December 2012):
 If you lie about your porn habits then yes, that is wrong. If she asks don't lie. If you lie, when she finds out (and she will) she will probably never fully trust you again. So if she asks, you need to be up front that you watch. If it is the rape-type of hentai you should consider speaking to a therapist otherwise I wouldn't go into specifics.
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A
female
reader, Roxypuss  +, writes (24 December 2012):
Chill, loads of people like hentai that is why it's so popular. Shonen-ai which isn't as explicit but involves gay romances has a mainly female audience, I wouldn't stress. Anime/cartoons is just another medium, like television or radio, just because they aren't real people doesn't mean you're weird for liking it you know you prefer the real thing but sometimes it's nice to see sex depicted in different ways that aren't possible in reality and let's be honest porn has it's place but because it's removed from any romantic or real life context and is so staged it can look quite weird if you're in the wrong mindset. Cartoon/anime porn is nice as it flows better than porn, it's not a edited shot of 5 mins of a guy fumbling with a bondage rope he's not very good at tying, hentai reflects how we depict sex in our own heads when we have sex we don't imagine it the way porn is depicted we imagine it more intimately like hentai.
Anyways aside from that, why don't you just ask her what she's into and her you when both a bit tipsy or something. She may well like hentai, she might not be into herself but like exploring it with you, if she doesn't like it i highly doubt she'll be bothered you do. I watch hentai with my partner and I have a tentacle themed toy (I didn't know you even get that kinda thing!) and he said he's always wanted a gf who genuinely liked watching it with him which surprised me because I'm so used to liking it I forgot not everyone likes it. It'll be no biggie don't worry never feel weird or ashamed of your fantasies ofc there's the odd one you ought to feel ashamed of if it became a reality but tbh as long as something remains in your head you're good. x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2012): "Basically is it wrong for me to look at henti porn even if it's not, is it wrong for me to not tell her that I do watch this type of porn?"
No and no. As long as you're not into lolicon then there's no issue.
OP being "completely honest" is only in terms of things that effect her. You're allowed your privacy in a relationship. Does being completely honest mean telling her you got so drunk once you shit your pants? Or going into to every little detail of the precise consistency and smell of your last defecation? No.
If she specifically asks if you like porn then be honest and say yes. No need to go into specifics unless she asks.
We're all allowed our private fantasies OP, it's usually better to keep them private unless it's something you know your girlfriend would like to enact with you.
Just a heads up, when a woman you're starting to date says she wants you to be completely honest, it doesn't mean you just ram information down her throat straight away and start listing out your flaws. She'll ask about the things that matter to her and you always have to slowly introduce a new potential partner to your flaws over time. Show them your best side first. It's only dishonest not to tell her something you know for certain will matter to her.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 December 2012):
 You do not have to volunteer that you watch porn but if she asks you should not lie.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2012): Its not wrong for you to like it so that isn't the issue. If it is not psychologically deviant stuff i think its not mentally unhealthy or anything. The issue is I think it should be none of your gf 's business what you like to watch when she isn't around. Just as it should be none of your business if she likes too swoon over virtual hot guys when you aren't around either.If your friend's gf freaked out and left him over something that had nothing to do with her then that's her loss if he was a great guy who wasn't doing anything wrong to her. And good riddance for him, he doesn't need a control freak to be his gf. I believe that in relationships there should still be personal boundaries. Your gf should not get to determine what you think or what your fantasies are or what turns you on or what you do for yourself in private. Mind control is not part of healthy relationships. Your responsibility is to make sure that if you indulge these things it doesn't have any impact on her or the relationship. As long as you're not favoring porn over her or pressuring her based on porn, you should be allowed to watch what you want in private.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2012): Sometimes you'll want to keep your porn habits to yourself.
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A
male
reader, NerdyGuy  +, writes (24 December 2012):
There's an article for that. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/porn-discretion-for-men-how-to-prevent-porn.htmlI don't think it's bad to watch porn, neither do I think it's okay to tell your gf about it.In any relationship there are private things people are not telling each other, like things you imagine during masturbation or sex with exes. If you don't share those things, it's not because you don't trust your gf, it's because you care about her.
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