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Is it worth my time waiting for my ex to return?

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 February 2009) 7 Answers - (Newest, 22 February 2009)
A male Canada age 36-40, *ian writes:

Dear readership,

I am/was in a 3 year long relationship that has had its ups and downs over the years. My partner and I have always recovered from the little fights we have that bring our relationship down; however, this last one might be the one that does me in.

My partner has been taking some rough blows from the real world - lost job, lost friends, lost money, etc. and thus last Monday, announced that they wished to leave town (move back home) to sort out "personal issues". This would be until August, when they will be back to finish a degree at the local Uni.

Anyway, by Wednesday (two days later), they had moved. I had to drive my partner to the airport, and say my quick goodbyes. Additionally, I was told that I was now single.

It was many a crushing blow for me... with no time to react, no time to really understand, cope, etc.

However!!!

Our relationship has always been fine, and we are still communicating, and have a very respectful connection to each other. Admittedly, we both fill a mutual void in the other's life, and deeply love one another.

I called too many times today (admittedly, close to 10 times) - because its been 24 hours, and im hurting deeply.

So I sit here, lonely, wondering what would compulse a person madly in love to move 1000km/600M away to sort out personal issues? Why couldn't it work out here? What was wrong with accepting help from others?

and of course, how much is too much? *phone

and is it worth my time waiting until August (6 months) for the love of my life to return?

I am afraid to fall out of love in that time, or not get back together. I want to trust that we will, but I have no clue or indication if it might.

I also worry based on past experience, in which my partner went back for a vacation, and his friend there (who preys on the depressed for her own gain) talked him into believing that I was not right for them., and might do it again.

Please help. Should I hold out? Should I find new love? Should I stop calling? (lol)

I am trying to give as much space as I can to my partner without affecting my own needs. I also dont want them to be any more depressed/overwhelmed.

Thanks!

View related questions: crush, depressed, get back together, money, my ex

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A female reader, aphexinfinite United Kingdom +, writes (22 February 2009):

aphexinfinite agony auntyour heart will feel lonely and you will find it hard but the one thing is that if it is ment to be it will happen and if it doesnt then fate doesnt want it to happen we choose the paths we walk along but we dont get to choose the roads we take. just keep talking dont add preasure but im sure that you will be fine no matter what the outcome just try and be a strong person keep yourself busy get mingling with your friends pick up new hobbies you never know what might be around the corner take it easy and let fate help you with your path!! good luck aphex xx

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A male reader, cian Canada +, writes (22 February 2009):

cian is verified as being by the original poster of the question

cian agony auntUPDATE:

So we have spoken and it sounds like we are going to get back together in August.

So the question now is how do I find the patience to hold out for my lover to return, and not have my feelings fade? / not feel so lonely?

And I guess that's something only I can really answer. (if you want to take a shot at this, please do!)

---

Another enlightening question will be posted separately.

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A female reader, aphexinfinite United Kingdom +, writes (22 February 2009):

aphexinfinite agony auntno problem hun thanks / i wish you good luck on this journey! keep strong and smilling ! aphex x

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A male reader, cian Canada +, writes (20 February 2009):

cian is verified as being by the original poster of the question

cian agony auntThank you for your advice aphex.

I will wait out the storm.

---

Today we had a phone call together, that tied up some loose ends... they are finally listening to my needs. I'll post where it leads.

Peace!

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A female reader, aphexinfinite United Kingdom +, writes (20 February 2009):

aphexinfinite agony auntnot at all the more info the better seen longer ones and its good to give info then we can try and tell you what we think with a better opinion. yeah just hang in their fate will lead you onto the path that your destined for just keep strong youll ride this storm out.. good luck aphex xx

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A male reader, cian Canada +, writes (20 February 2009):

cian is verified as being by the original poster of the question

cian agony auntI guess I will have to wait it out until they are willing to talk then.

Thank you for your reply.

(I know close to 500 words is like a novel on here...)

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A female reader, aphexinfinite United Kingdom +, writes (20 February 2009):

aphexinfinite agony aunti think you need to have a talk with her and ask her what is going on why she moved and if its definatly over you need answers and they will only come from her we can only give speculation to ityou need to be direct but understanding find out the questions you need answered and ask her. otherwise you will be still in limbo.. hope this helps aphex xx

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