A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello Dear Friends,There is a situation that I have never understood in my life. Well, I have always found it very wrong that a girl goes out with a married man and I was convinced that I would never fall for a married man, but I did fall in love with a married man. It was my first and last experience. When I was with him, I have always felt that he was using me to satisfy his own sexual wants. In fact, he was much more interested in getting his owm pleasure than satisfying mine. He used to tell me that he loved me very much but he prefers that our relationship be like this so that we do not get too attached with each other. Then I did a major back surgery which really gave me a lot of pain, I was very depressed and I needed his support but he never cared to be there. I was very hurt and I was crushed when I learned that he was going out with another married woman. I even talked to her a few times and wat she revealed to me about their relationship affected me and is still affecting me. I felt that between me and him, there was nothing more that sex, I never had his affection, his care but this woman seems to be getting these very things which I yearned to have but never had. I even saw them going to church together. I would like to know why he treated us so differently, I too I loved him deeply.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2009): I am so sorry to hear of another woman getting herself involved with a married man, how rotten and low can people go, I read about this all the time on Cupid and it really annoys me,I came hear after being cheated on by my spouse, found out he used a woman to have an affair with just to spice things up for himself, she told me all the things he said and how he left her dangling on for months when he wanted to have her as his bit on the side,(I love you more than anything before)the classic line. We are no longer together as I was able thanks to her to find out the sort of man I was really married too. Sounds like you've met one like him.First sign of interest from a woman and it seems to be the case that these men think they can use and abuse woman tell them lie after lie and then get away with it. One paticular story always gets me and makes me think of the lies that my husband must have told to get what he wanted is by Mae5 "My paramour used me for sex" posted 18th September last 2008, have a read and even contact her via her post as she has helped others in your situation. She has been through the same as you and her story is heartbreaking, to see woman so badly abused by cheating men.Others are right men like him are scum and should be ousted and made to face upto their wrong doings. Like me his wife should be told what he has been upto, I am glad I found out because later after the split I found out it was not his first time only the first I had found out about, I did not wan't to be married to a liar and a cheat so she did me a favour by telling me even though it caused upset at the time it has turned out better in the long run. I wish you all the best and really feel for you honey, there is no worse feeling than to feel lied, used and cheated on.
A
female
reader, deejuliet  +, writes (20 February 2009):
 Agree totally with Cian. He used you. He is scum. He even let you know at the time he was using you, but you didnt really listen. He said he wanted to keep it as just sex. He had no interest in you other than to satisfy his selfish sexual desires. You were wrong and stupid to be with this man in the first place. As hurtful as it all is, try to learn from your mistakes and move on to someone more worthy.
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A
male
reader, cian  +, writes (20 February 2009):
 Simply, the man was scum. He used you, and that was wrong. And from the sounds of it, he is using other women as well.Sorry to say, you aren't the first, and likely, not the last.Get well.
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