A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:For the past couple of weeks (probably 8) I've been talking to a cute coworker who sits on the other side of the building where I work at. I usually pass by there and whenever she gives an inviting hello or I have something interesting to talk about, I go over and talk to her for a couple minutes. We've talked about our weekends, her taste in movies, music, chocolate, and a bunch of other stuff. Today I actually even ran into her at the gym and we talked for about 4 minutes before she continued working out, she seemed to be happy the whole time.Hence prompting me to ask the following. Now, I know workplace romances are a really bad idea - at least I've heard as much. So it's kind of a two part question. One is, is it worth it? And number two,based on what you've read, is it even likely she'd accept to go out? What I was planning was on asking her for lunch or dinner in person like "Hey, wanna grab lunch sometime this week?" Or I could ask her out for a drink but it seems incredibly forward. Like maybe after lunch or dinner I could move for a drink. Thank you for any help, this has been draining on me for the past couple of weeks. I know she is single, she's about 24 and I'm 27. And I really do like her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for all your feedback! I took all of your advice and just went for it. She luckily agreed to meet for lunch and we actually had a really nice conversation and I truly think we're clicking. I got her number by the end of the "date", so here's hoping it will lead to something more.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2015): I, too, like a coworker of mine. This I realized after a moment, in which my wandering eyes first locked his-- within that brief sec or two I was gone. And while I try to be overly friendly with some, so to be intentionally misviewed as a generally flirty person- or try to hold back much of what I wish to say- there really is no easy way to shy away from such feelings. This is made especially and incredibly difficult in a workplace with a rigid dating policy in play. So, I understand where you are coming from and why you ask both questions 1 and 2, yet perhaps left with a lurking feeling for answers to so much more. I'll give you my two cents here and wish you best of luck: If your feelings are truly inexplainable, your questions have already been answered.
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A
female
reader, Keeley345  +, writes (25 March 2015):
Work romances do happen and can work out. I know alot of people who met at work and went on to get married. There are things to consider first before embarking on an office romance. There are:
*Do your bosses allow romances at work? You would'nt want to lose your job if they don't
*Office romances cause alot of gossip. Other workmates watching and talking about your romance. Can you handle that? Worse still handle the gossip if your romance fails?
*Would your love interest want an office romance too?
Consider these things first. But don't worry too much. Office romances happen and if you like this person, you know what you need to do.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (25 March 2015):
 I think "hey free for lunch one day next week?" sounds like a fine idea.
IF you work in the same building but not the same area I think that dating is an option.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2015): Please ask me out!
ask yourself 2 questions:
1. can you handle dealing with her afterwards,if she rejects you?
2. If you date for few month then break up, can you deal with the aftermath?
if the answer to those questions is yes, ask her out.
if the answer to those questions is no, don't ask her out.
My prediction, you will ask her out, you'll date a few months, then you'll break up and EVERYTHING becomes really really awkward between you two.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 March 2015):
 I am normally of the "don't shit where you eat" (aka date at your work place) but asking her to eat lunch with you is not a bad idea.
If nothing else maybe you have made a friend.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (24 March 2015):
 You'll never find out if it "is worth it"... OR, "if she'll agree to go out with you"... until and unless you ASK!!!!
Remember: A turtle can never get anywhere until/unless he sticks HIS/HER neck out!!!
Good luck....
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (24 March 2015):
You'll never find out if it "is worth it"... OR, "if she'll agree to go out with you"... until and unless you ASK!!!!
Remember: A turtle can never get anywhere until/unless he sticks HIS/HER neck out!!!
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2015): Nothing ventured, nothing gained.If you really like her, ask her out. Go for it. Why not? It is the norm nowadays when we spend most of our time at work to meet romantic prospects there. I have been in your position and it is going on two years. We are in the same workplace too. I do not see a problem with it as long as you are discreet and keep your relationship private and do not let it interfere with your work. Also realize that if you do break up, you will need to deal with that which may make it trickier if you see the other person everyday at work. So the fact she works in another part of the building is a good thing in this case. So, you do need to think about variables and scenarios before moving forward. What if's. As long as your eyes are open and you are prepared to handle all outcomes, I do not see a problem with it. I am a big believer in going for what you want. Having said that though I would steer clear IF she were your boss or you were hers.How you worded it is great. "Wanna grab lunch sometime this week?" It leaves it open that it is friendly and if she were to say no, it does not look like you were asking her out on a real date, know what I mean? And you can save face, so to speak. But from what you are saying, she seems to like you, too.Ask her out. Life's too short!If you don't it will eat away at you and continue to bother you. And what if you sat on it and then some other guy had the guts to do what you couldn't? When you like someone THAT much, it's as if there isn't a choice. Right? When the connection is there, people will go through extraordinary circumstances to be together. That's what I think. I will give you an example. My ex husband did not work with me but I met him at a function. There was a definite spark. The following week he sat in the reception area of my building hoping he would see me. He did not know what floor I worked on but he lurked in that building for an entire week, every day on his week off, just to run into me. Which he did! So that is just telling you when there is real interest, you will make sure to follow it up!Hope she says yes! :)
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