A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I'm bi but not out yet and there's this guy I've had a crush on for just over 3 years now.We started off as friends at uni, we met during the first week but had this instant connection, people described it as a bromance, we just clicked, and got on so well. As our friendship grew my feelings grew, and I also noticed just little signs, that made me wonder if he was gay/bi.One example, when he was playing football, he kept making jokes about wanting me to be the teams physio and rub his legs. Or when we played this ball game in the corridor, he made me throw the ball in while down on my knees and one time even stood in front of me and said "down on your knees" in a seductive way.He was even comfortable getting changed in front of me (ok he kept his underwear on, but everything else came off) Then finally when he was drunk he pushed me on his bed and was like "(my name) (my name) is in my bed!!!"I had a disagreement with some mutual friends and so didnt hang with the group anymore, and by extension him, but he always stayed friendly with me and whenever we bumped into each other he was always really friendly and it was just like old times. I took a year off to deal with some other issues, and last year, I was kinda shy about trying to get in touch with me, we still bumped into each other but again was just friendly, hi how are you, catching up etcThen this year, I decided I'd be more forward, I noticed during this entire time he's never had a gf (and he never had a gf before starting uni he said) and just things like his voice or dress sense were kinda suspicious.So when I was talking to him, online, twice i asked him about girls or a gf and he dodged the question, for example I asked if his gym sessions went down well with the ladies, and he just replied "i love going to the gym."Then I asked for a meet up, and to my surprise he said yes, fairly quickly, and even agreed to meet me in this italian restaurant called bella italia, which ive known people to go to for dates.So I was wondering, do you think he might be gay/bi, or is all this just me reading into it too much. How do I approach him about the subject without ruining the friendship or making it awkward?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, SimpleSoul +, writes (2 November 2014):
 Hello there, It sounds to me as if your friend is either a tease, or interested. Is he aware of your sexual preferences? I only ask as I know some men get a kick out of leading others on with no intention of seeing it through. But he could be uncertain of himself, and afraid of being rejected - which I think is what you feel. Have you been for the meal yet? If not take the opportunity of the relaxed atmosphere to ask him directly which way the wind blows, it can be brought into an ordinary conversation, you don't have to make it heavy. I should bet if he is decent he will give you an honest answer,and you can take it or leave it from there. Hope all goes well.
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