A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Alright, I found myself falling for my best guy friend for the past year. He really gave the impression that he liked me. We would cuddle, once or twice held hands, and just basically flirt around all the time. I would have friends and people I didn't even know too well asking if we were a couple, or if we intended to date one another. We are very close and can tell each other anything. So, I figured it was time to stop hiding and tell him how I felt. Sadly, he says he does not have feelings for me, but rather for another girl. I feel hurt, but he is still my best friend. Is it wise to remain friends even while at the moment I still have romantic feelings for him? I'm hurt, but I care about this guy so much. I wish he could give us a chance, but i know it's probably best to get over it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2008): You know, I have the same exact situation, but it's the other way aroundMe and my best friend have known each other for so long and for a time, I did like him. I sometimes thought he liked me back, but since we were too shy we never told each other's feelings. I gave him up when he got a girlfriend but I still had feelings for himThen I found the love of my life. This made me get over him so easily, but I still remained friends with him because I enjoyed his company. We still talk to each other as much as we can since we work and we live in different cities now (but still the same state) and we sometimes hanged out when we could.Recently, he told me he was joining the Navy and would move away. This of course devastated me since he's my longest friend I'd had and I would not see him or talk to him as much. I was still suportive, of course, since it's always been his dream to be a pilot. Then, one night when we're IMing, he starts talking about the past. Then he mentions me, out of the blue, that he has had a secret that he has kept quiet for so long but kept for our sake, but couldn't keep it now since he was leaving. I knew instantly what it was. He told me he had liked me for so long and it sometimes hurt him seeing me with my boyfriend together and that he knew it had been a mistake for him to never had asked me out, but still felt so glad I was so happy with him. The reason why he never told me was because he was afraid to lose our friendship and that everything would change between us. I assured him it wouldn't. For day I didn't want to talk to him because I needed to think. I realized then, that our friendship was worth it, so I tried to spend the little time we have left. To this day and minute, I'm still best friends with him, nothing changedWhat I'm trying to say here is: keep the friendship. Your friend would most likely stay with you as I want to stay with my friend. Even though he doesn't return the same feelings, he will always be there for you and still be happy for you. And try to be happy for him if he gets a girl and he's happy with her. This will show him you're his true friend.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2008): If you think you are strong enough to get over your feelings for him, I think you should continue being friends because it would be such a shame to lose him as a friend.
I would try hard to remain friends if I were you...I think in the long run you'll be glad you did.
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