A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I feel as though this question may seem weird because I have been thinking it sounds weird or just not right or that i shoudnt be feeling what I do . I recently decided to do a 3 week comedy course and its ended now and I really enjoyed it . it was taught by two male tutors . im not sure specifically why but on the third week of the course some of the comments from one of the tutors has made me really want to get to know him and I do find him a bit attractive and I have been really wanting to message him but I woudnt know what to say . I think a lot of the time I just want someone to talk to and hes obviously made an impression on me for me to want to talk to him , I don't have a lot of friends and feel lonely a lot of the time so its contributes to me just wanting someone to talk to . I feel as though if I message him it would be inappropriate as im 22 and hes 39, which to me would freak him out , and I didn't have a conversation with him as such , also he might find it weird for me to want to talk to him and I would be embarrassed if he put something horrible or be taken aback . Ive also never had a relationship and I think as ive got older I would just like a nice friendship with someone and I would just like to get to know him . is it weird for me to feel like this ? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (25 May 2019):
 If I were you, I'd do a little "online sleuthing" before making contact. He might be married and if he is... then no, not a great idea to seek him out.
If he is single, then you can ALWAYS contact him and thank him for a really good learning experience and see if that can get a conversation started.
I DO agree with WiseOwlE, that you NEED to kind of have an idea what you are HOPING for with contacting him because you sound all over the place. OK, so you are lonely and would like someone to talk to... Good, but why didn't you make a bigger effort on that WHILE you were taking the class?
And you also mention that you are attracted to him, so... maybe it REALLY isn't friendship you are seeking? Maybe you are harboring a little crush?
Let's say he is married, so you don't reach out. Then MAYBE you need to try something else, get out of the house, volunteer for instance or try another class?
You ask if it is WEIRD of you to feel the way you do... No, you feel what you feel. Nothing weird in wanting to continue to see/talk to someone you have learned from and feel is interesting. But it DOES seem a little odd (not weird) that you didn't MAKE a bigger effort to talk to him while you were at the course. It would have made sense, and made it easier to keep in contact.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2019): Make up your mind what you're looking for. Don't pretend you want to make friends; if you have a romantic-interest in somebody. That's being manipulative and deceptive.
Now that you no longer have a professional-relationship; it would be okay to ask if he'd consider going out for talk and coffee. Don't suggest a bar, or alcohol at this point. Wait and see if your interest is consistent; and if he shows any serious interest in taking you up on it. If he hems and haws or makes excuses; withdraw the offer. If he agrees, cancels later, or stands you up; severe contact completely. If he seems eager to connect, proceed but don't be too eager.
If nothing else, you will exercise extending an invitation to a potential friend, or it could become more than that. I strongly advise against sex entering the picture; if you're lonely and have no friends. That makes the whole endeavor an act of desperation; and exposes your vulnerability to someone who might be a player or an opportunist.
If he's taken aback, so what? You just offered to talk and have coffee? You don't know if you really like him like you think you do. You have to be in a different setting and environment to determine what kind of vibe he sends you. You may discover you don't like him at all.
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