A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid, I am absolutely in love with my boyfriend we have been together almost two years now. I am still very attracted to him, we have great sex and I can tell him everything. We have this relationship where we can tell each other how we really feel. We have know each other since in grade 7 and he has always told me how he liked me since we were in grade 7 and as the years went by he could only love me and I am the only girl for him. I broke up with my ex to be with him and not one day did I ever regret my decision. But at times I think to myself its not healthy to love someone so much. I mean on days when I spend it with him, the next day I will miss him so very much. I don't want to think of not being with him. Sometimes I think its best to not be with him so I do not have to miss him when he is not with me and feel sad.We do have our problems like I find he socializes too much, but he has cut down on that because he know it makes me unhappy. I love him, he was my first and I want him to be last. We have even begun to plan our future together. This winter he will be going away for three weeks and I cannot bear the thought of him being gone. My question is, is it healthy to feel like this? Is is it wrong to know I love him so much and want a future with him but yet have thoughts of breaking up with him, because I can't stand not being with him? Please help. Thank you
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2009): you are perfectly normal. I completely understand because i was the same myself. You probably will feel very upset when he is gone. I dont think there is anything i could say that would change that. But i can tell you to just look forward when he comes home because that will be WELL worth the wait. There is such a thrill when you see him again.
I even had the thoughts of breaking up with him because it hurt to much to be away from him. I only saw him once a week.
He was also my first love. Don't break up with him.Stay with him and ride it out. You will have the time of your life. Don't cut it short. Your first is usualy your best.
Try not to be too clingy and just enjoy what you have.
Have fun.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2009): heya
i know how you feel i have felt like this with my boyfriend before but i realised i love him so much that i should just be happy. but like you said you love eachother, can tell eachother anything and have known eachother for ages. you have thoughts of breaking up with him? i think you shouldnt as you both sound really happy together which is good. your probley feeling this way because hes going away for 3 weeks and your gonna miss him loads, but all you got to think is as long as your both happy and going strong thats all that matters, those 3 weeks will fly by and before you know it he'll be back. you say you dont like him socializing that much coz it makes you unhappy, but i feel that you shouldnt be that way coz he has the right to go out and do the things he wants, just as long as he makes time for you too and then its fair. you have been planning your future together which is sweet and i really think you have nothing to be sad for, why be sad when you have someone in your life who you love and loves you back, i think you should appriciate that. anyway good luck x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2009): Yes it is unhealthy. You think he socializes too much? I take it you also ask him to cut out his friends in order for you to occupy his every second of the day?
This is unhealthy for both you, him and this relationship. Loving him is wonderful and fine, but you do not own him. He is his own person and you need to let him be who he is and live life as he wishes. He is not you. He can't be with you 24/7. And yes: what if someday he's not there anymore? Or what if sometime he needs to be away for 3 weeks, or 3 months? You need to find a way to deal with being without him and still be happy.
Its not healthy to only seek to him for your happiness. That is a lot of responsibility on him and it can drain the relationship fast. Find ways to cope. Its great that you love him, yes, but dont suffocate him. Dont let him be your only source of happiness. Dont let him be everything in your life. Dont start to think that you and him are one person, because you are not. The reason why you miss him so much is that you cling to him too much, you rely on him too much in your life. To make things easierf or both you and him, and to make sure this relationship will last though the hard times that do come in everyone's life: build yourself up. Find ways to be on your own and do things only you do, things that has nothing to do with him that makes you happy. Those things will be the ones you lean on to when he is away, so that it wont hurt you so much that he is gone. And it will make him feet better too, knowing you are happy even when he's not around.
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A
female
reader, texas_princess  +, writes (22 November 2009):
 To the contrary... no such thing as too much love sweetie! It's great that you have a relationship that keeps your heart jumping. Believe me, BOREDOM in a relationship can be the demise of it and you are blessed to have someone that you love so much and it sounds like the feeling is mutual. Just a tip... let him socialize if he wants. As long as he's not cheating and you trust him it's good to let him have his "man time". Take that time and do things for you, hang out with your girlfriends, read that book you've been meaning to read, take a bubble bath, go shopping, etc. As for the upcoming 3 week trip... make some plans of your own while he's gone, pamper yourself or plan a trip of your own with a friend. Sounds like you have a great relationship, kick back, enjoy it and don't let anxiety make you crazy! lol Good luck!
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