A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for almost five months and are very committed to one another. We are even planning to move in together this summer. Everything is great between us but one thing keeps bothering me. He was with his last girlfriend for 2 years and they had a very turbulent relationship that really tore him apart. It was a very unhealthy situation for him to be in, but he was very much in love and tried to hold on even though his ex was so cold and mentally abusive. He tells me that he is completely over her and happier with me than he ever was with her, but there are still pictures of her on his computer and sometimes I find them in his apartment. Is it unfair of me to want him to get rid of them? I would never force him to do it because I'd be afraid of him resenting me, but it's so hard to look at the face of someone that he was so in love with and who he had so much history with. I’m so confused, someone help me out!
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2007): sorry to hear about your predicament i think you should tell him to give a couple of the pictures to a friend for them to keep so that although he still has them he wont be able to keep renewing himself with her image.its not fair on you to be haunted and as hard as it is youve got to force yourself to put these pictures out of harms way!somewhere where they cant be seen whenever the mood takes you.ive done the same and tortured myself and it becames a bit unhealthy and kindoff addictive.i look back now and realise how daft i was.you are respecting his privacy allowing him to keep pics of his ex.just tell him to store them out of the house(preferably).
A
male
reader, I Waited For The One  +, writes (14 May 2007):
 wow sorry 2 hear about ya boyfriend passed but we all been there. after 5months the pictures sould of gone i think unless he still as a thing 4 is ex. r they friend
i've been with my new girlfriend 2 months and i still have a picture of my ex on my phone just 2 remind me that i was once in love with her . ok the bigger problem i have is a naked video of my ex on my phone. so feel happy he doesnt have any of them. but i have a naked video of her showing me everything and i dnt wanna delete it ever. but i think if my new girlfriend looks over my phone and finds it i'm fucked. but i keep the video because i want 2 remind myself what was mine at one point and is it not now.
the picture of my ex is 2 remind me i dated her and yes i would feel sorry 4 my new girlfriend if she found the picture if she asked i would delete it.
i think hes keep the picture 2 remind himself of the happy times. untill he build a connection with you. and then i hope the pictures disapear and he can move on fully.
hope that helps
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